Watch Rand Paul Run From Immigration Activsts

While at an event supporting Iowa Rep. Steve King, Rand Paul bolted, mid-bite, as immigration activists approached the table. Who wouldn't want to stay for a conversation between Congress' staunchest immigration reform critic and two highly educated immigration activists? Not Rand Paul. He just wanted his lunch.

The politicians were sharing a table in Okoboji, Iowa, while on tour through King's district — probably trading thoughts on how much they really don't dig this whole election season pandering, and maybe they should just retire to be closer to their families — when Erika Andiola and Cesar Vargas, self-identified Dreamers, approached the table.

There are thousands of Dreamers, or children who were illegally brought into the U.S. by their parents, rallying to support pathways to citizenship. Currently, Andiola and Vargas are defending Deferred Actions for Childhood Arrivals, which slaps a Band-Aid on stalled Dream Act legislation that would provide a path to permanent citizenship for undocumented children raised in the U.S.

Andiola and Vargas approached the table, shook hands with both parties, and managed to run Paul off in less than six seconds.

"I'm actually a Dreamer myself," Andiola started. And that was all it took for Paul to abandon the King.

Notice that he almost chokes on his burger in the process. That delicious, juicy burger that reminded Paul of simpler times before he had signed on to endorse one of the most hotheaded Republicans in Congress. Leave that burger behind, Paul. It will only make you wonder, "what if?"

Hurriedly wiping his mouth, probably quickly trying to dislodge the half-chewed meat lodged in his windpipe, Paul makes a run for it. He had to know that this exchange would equal imminent disaster.

Paul addressed the burgerless flight from the table Tuesday with Fox News. He maintains that he had promised a reporter an interview just before the cameras started rolling, but that he needed a few more bites of his lunch before. A likely story, but he contends that he stood only 10 feet from the spot where King was mansplaining Andiola. We're still waiting on eyewitness confirmation, which should be easy with that gross shirt Paul was wearing.

Paul demonstrated a perfect psychological study in fight-or-flight response. He perceived the threat, perhaps ascertained that the conversation would kill a good deal of their "moderate" vote aspirations, and left King behind.

Oh, and while Paul was "giving an interview," King managed to ask Andiola — who has a master's degree — if she was a drug smuggler, grab her hand uncomfortably, and compliment someone who had lived her entire life in the U.S. on her English.