It’s a tale as old as time. Boy meets girl. Girl and boy go out on date to see if they have a spark. 26-year-old actor nearby tweets girl and boy's entire interlude. Or at least that's what happened when Arrow actor Colton Haynes live-tweeted a couple's first date. "I am sitting next to a couple on their 1st date who met online and it’s a conversation I have to live tweet about right now," Haynes write. "Stay tuned."
Ah, yes the first date. It’s never not awkward, and if you say that you’ve had one that wasn’t, then you’re obviously a liar or a magical unicorn because even the great ones are awkward. We can’t help it. It's nerves compounded by excitement compounded by the fact that we’re meeting a complete stranger over a meal. It’s the same butterflies you get for a job interview, except without the stuffy pantsuit or having to name three of your strengths and three of your weaknesses in the office. First dates are a maze of do’s and don’t’s, manners, flirting. We’re careful in every little phrase or how we eat our spaghetti so that we can impress that other person, but even then we're just wishing to get past this tricky meeting to get to the second. We're total pros by the second date.
Well, lucky for us, Haynes' surreptitious live-tweeting of one couple's awkward first meeting should help us avoid the same mistakes. Let's see what we can learn from Tracey and who Haynes has dubbed "Dan."
Tip 1: Don't Brag About Your Conquests
I'm not sure what this guy was all about. He wanted to brag his success rate maybe? Not a good move.
Tip 2: Don't Be Married
To elaborate: Don't be married and then go on a date with your not wife or not husband. Haynes seemed to see disaster already.
Tip 3: Show Your Interest By Hair Tossing
Caution: this could also work against you if you're really just tossing your hair to prevent yourself from pulling it out when your date is clearly a jerk.
Tip 4: Be Loud and Proud
Confidence is always attractive, and meek or sheepish voices are kind of a drag, especially when there's a CW actor trying to eavesdrop and in need of clear, loud conversation for his Twitter audience.
Tip 5: Repeat Their Name Immediately
My mom taught me to use someone's name right when they introduce themselves so that you have a better chance at remembering. Heck, even Haynes who is not on the date remembers Tracey's name.
Tip 6: Break Awkward Silences with Bathroom Breaks
Just be careful about how long you stay in the bathroom.
Tip 7: Mind Your Phone Etiquette
Has your date checked their phone while on the date? Even Haynes knows that this is a big tell to see if the date is going well.
Tip 8: Aim to Look Your Best
But also be yourself. Of course, if yourself is still sporting a mullet in 2014, then maybe aim to be better.
Tip 9: Check Your Ancestry.com Family Tree Prior to the Date
It saves you on the awkwardness later, I suppose.
Tip 10: Don't Go Home with Guys like "Dan"
Just in case you haven't realized, ladies, Haynes doesn't think you should go home with guys like "Dan." I don't think you should go home with guys like "Dan." As a rule of thumb, just don't go out with guys like "Dan."
Haynes eventually followed the two out of the restaurant to see Tracey "peace out," much to Haynes' excitement. He gave her points and tons of exclamation points on his Twitter, and "Dan" was left to go home all alone.
As for Haynes, he left the restaurant with a new purpose in life.