Entertainment

Don't Say This to the Non-Judging Breakfast Club

by Kadeen Griffiths

Ah, Gossip Girl. It was the television show that exploded into our lives and became a runaway hit. Remember back when New York private school seemed like the coolest place to be because of those awesome uniforms and the fact that you could have lunch on the steps of the Met? Remember when we all wanted to be Blair Waldorf and thus the queen of all we saw before us? Remember the first time that Chuck and Blair kissed in the backseat of that limo and all of our minds were blown from the sheer sexiness of a brand new OTP?

Well, those days passed a long time ago. Now that Gossip Girl is finally over, the only ones who stuck around until the end were the hardcore fans who had hung on through things like Chuck trying to sell Blair to his uncle for a hotel and Serena briefly becoming Gossip Girl — you know, fans who had accepted so much crap from these Gossip Girl plots that they had nothing else to lose from finishing the series. However, no matter how you feel about the quality of Gossip Girl and when exactly it began to decline, the fact still remains that the once-popular show holds a special place in the hearts of many and you'll still get slapped in the face for insulting certain aspects of it.

Gossip Girl is like your younger brother. You can pick on him all day, but someone outside of the family can't say a negative word about him. So before you say any of these phrases to a Gossip Girl fan, you'd better tread lightly.

1. "It's so unrealistic!"

It's television. If you want a realistic depiction of what life is like on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, move to New York.

2. "Blair is the worst character."

Blair Waldorf is the breakthrough star of the whole show and you will not insult her in my presence. Or her own presence. She will destroy you.

3. "Vanessa is the best character."

Vanessa's character on the show was so bad that even the writer of the Gossip Girl novels hated Vanessa. Jessica Szohr was great, but Vanessa really, really wasn't. Don't lie to yourself.

4. "Chuck and Blair."

For your own safety, you should just avoid the subject of Chuck and Blair entirely. If you hate them as a couple, their fans are going to attack you with great fury. If you love them as a couple, their anti-fans are going to attack you for glorifying abusive relationships. You can't win.

5. "The show is nothing like the books."

Most television shows based on books end up being nothing like the source material after a while. See Pretty Little Liars, see The Vampire Diaries, and even Game of Thrones is changing some things.

6. "I loved the twist ending."

Don't tell anyone ever that you loved the twist revealing that Dan Humphrey has been Gossip Girl the entire time. Just don't. Not only have many essays been devoted to pointing out all the instances from early seasons that would make this revelation make no sense, but that's the one part of the ending that all Gossip Girl fans can agree on hating.

7. "Blair's outfits were ridiculous."

Blair was the absolute queen of fashion on the show and anything she wore, from a New York tourist shirt to her collection of fancy headbands, made her look ten times better than everyone else.

8. "Serena should have been the main character."

Serena on the show not only often suffered from Too Dumb to Live syndrome, but she also flip-flopped on so many plots and personality traits that focusing on her would have been a waste of time. She started out as the main character, but look how quickly attention shifted to Blair.

9. "Jenny should have been the main character."

The only thing worse than Jenny is Vanessa. If you want something in which Jenny is the main character, read It Girl, a sequel series by the same woman who wrote Gossip Girl. On the show, hardly anyone missed Jenny once she was gone.

10. "It makes no sense that Gossip Girl is even a thing."

Gossip Girl had an omnipotence bordering on the level of Pretty Little Liars' A, but if you're complaining that no one would send in tips to a website about a bunch of teenagers at school who aren't even famous then... shut up. Just go with the plot.

11. "The books/show was better."

The books and the show were two completely different things and comparing them is an intense waste of time. Later, hater.

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