Books

These High School Books Totally Define Your Life

by Daniel Toy
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High school: a time of acne, awkward crushes, and... forced reading. You can vividly remember the nights you spent fighting your assigned syllabus, doing everything you could to avoid the chunk of pages you were supposed to have read for class. Late one school night, however, while trying to absorb the 300-plus pages of delinquent assigned reading for an essay due the next day, something surprising happened: You... actually... liked it?

"No, it can't be!" you exclaimed. But next thing you knew, you were highlighting your favorite passages and jotting down notes and AOL IM-ing your friend about how you were going to marry Mr. Darcy (and your friend, who was obviously still awake trying to write the same essay, typed, SO FUCKED 4 2MORROW :( WUT R U TALKING ABOUT??).

But you were golden, Ponyboy. You finished writing in record time and even re-read some passages before passing out and calling it a night. The next morning, you handed in your essay (which was two pages longer than the minimum requirement), smiled, and knew you'd be getting it back with a solid A.

Even though you got a B+ (which you're still a little bitter about TBH), that book still remains one of your favorites to this day and says a lot about you as a person. Come see what I mean:

If your favorite book in high school was...

The Odyssey

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A day doesn't go by when you don't create imagined worst-case scenarios in your head. That dude walking behind you? He's definitely going to steal your bag... and you're going to run after him, beat him to the ground, and wait for the authorities to arrive. (Probably.) You've always wanted to try skydiving or bungee jumping, but have never gotten around to it. (But you will, someday, you swear!) You also watched all of Breaking Bad in two weeks and have absolutely zero regrets about it.

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Heart of Darkness

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You were a nihilist before you even knew what that meant. You've always felt like a bit of an outsider, but that's just because you're misunderstood. Much to the confusion of others, everyday things take on a much larger significance in your life, like abandoned objects on the street ("someone tossed that tennis ball here, and now it's literally in my path, and that mud stain on the side looks just like how my childhood felt"). And if one more person asks about your Nietzsche tattoo, you might snap.

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Brave New World

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You're very liberal. Seeing the best in people comes easily to you; it's the necessary distrust that requires some restraint. You're organized to a tee and couldn't live without your Blackberry/Franklin Covey planner/pack of Post-It notes. You spend every agonizing minute of every first date wanting to check your phone — you could be missing out on so much right now! — and collecting things is your main (and only) hobby. You have multiple versions of the same book for aesthetic value alone — but to be honest, you haven't read any of them... that's what your Kindle is for!

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The Grapes of Wrath

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You value old-school traditions and have never missed a family event — in fact, you don't know where you'd be today without your family. You've traveled to big cities, but could never see yourself living in one for more than a year. (So. Many. People.) You also feel perfectly content sipping your beer in the corner and people watching, because when you're easygoing, the going is easy.

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Catch-22

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You've seen every season of Arrested Development at least four times. You do a double-take at like-sounding words ("affect" and "effect"; "compliment" and "complement"), and you can remember faces easily but never names. You're known to speak your mind freely and always have the snappiest comebacks.

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Lord of the Flies

You were known for having some unique interests in grade school. Your hobbies continue to be a little more... out there, but your totally you perspective on the world is also what makes you a snowflake. You tend to get along better with members of the opposite sex and are probably rocking a pair of thick-framed glasses right now.

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Beowulf

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You strive to be in some kind of managerial position if you're not already. Judging your life by your successes has worked out well enough for you so far, so why stop now? You have many vices — you admit that — but you never allow them to get in the way of your day-to-day. Your personal relationships could use a little work, too, but your BFFs will always be there for you, and that's all that matters.

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The Great Gatsby

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Every day is a struggle for you. Student loan collectors call you up multiple times each morning, your job hasn't given you a raise in more than two years, and your overpriced apartment is seriously starting to cramp your style. Saturday afternoon brunch is what you look forward to all week (waddup prix fixe), and you prefer mixed drinks over beer. Most importantly, though, you hated the Gatsby movie, especially after your third watch.

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The Scarlet Letter

Public speaking or performing in front of a large group doesn't bother you, but you're not one to seek out attention. You tend to always respond to people's bold political or religious Facebook statuses (against your better judgment) but refuse to post any yourself. And as far as relationships go, you've had a few, but they were NBD.

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Romeo and Juliet

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You're single and proud of it. You don't need an S.O. to be happy; you prefer a bottle of wine, your Netflix subscription, and an oversized comforter to any "real" relationship. You have a rock-solid group of friends that you wouldn't change for the world, which can sometimes make others envious (THEY want to be included TOO). But like Taylor Swift, you simply shake off the haters and keep doing you. Once you make up your mind about something, there's no breaking your resolve... like how you opted not to read anymore Shakespeare since high school.

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One Hundred Years of Solitude

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You're frustrated when people don't understand the end of Lost . (Seriously though, everything that happened happened.) You easily become obsessed with the newest fads and love introducing others to them (i.e. you beat Candy Crush before anyone ever invited you to play it via Facebook). Sometimes your roommate gets annoyed when you burn incense at night and play Enya's "Only Time" on a loop, but, hey, your roommate is also a slob who's never even tried yoga. You also keep in regular contact with at least one practicing Wiccan.

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