The 9 Stages Of Wearing Heels As A Tall Girl Because You're Just Leggy, Not A Circus Freak
No one ever said fashion was easy. Or painless. Wearing heels isn't a simple thing if you're not prepared, and when you're a tall girl? Rocking stilettos is a whole other ball game, guys. Take the usual, toe-crunching pain of heels and pair it with a handful of strangers' stares and a smorgasbord of "whoa, you're, like, tall" comments, and you've got yourself one interesting night out on the town. Of course, no fashion risk comes without people who will comment on your choices. And as is the case with almost anything in the world — if you do something that makes you stand out or look drastically different than those around you, people will notice.
If you're a girl standing at over six-feet tall in your shoes, then you're going to have a much different experience than a girl of average height who wears heels. If you've learned to love wearing heels as a tall girl (as I believe all tall girls should), then you should know that your stilettos experience isn't necessarily better or worse than other girls' — just different. It takes confidence and a little practice, and as awkward, laughable, and frustrating as it can be, wearing heels as a tall girl is a totally unique experience.
From loving your high heeled shoes, to doubting your decision to wear them, to wanting to beat up all the annoying short men who comment on your height, here are the nine stages of wearing heels as a tall girl.
1. The Heels Purchase
As I have said, and will continue to say, there is something sacred and magical about buying a fabulous pair of shoes. You put them on, they fit, and suddenly — you're completely fabulous. It's a wonderful thing. As you try on those irresistible pair of heels, you know that you have to have them. "But will you actually wear them out?" your friends may ask. You roll your eyes, angry that your friends would question your heel-wearing confidence level. OF COURSE you will wear them. Just LOOK at them. You are blissful, and display your heels proudly on a shelf.
2. The Intense Inner Debate
Ever since you bought your new heels, you've been planning outfits in your head. You have this killer skirt, top, and accessories combination in mind and you just know, deep down, that your new heels will be the perfect addition to the look. But you'll be so tall... Where will we be going? Ok, dinner? That's fine. I'll mostly be sitting down. But what if we go to a bar afterwards? Then I'll have to stand the whole time. Everyone will stare. But who cares? I'm fabulous. I shouldn't care what other people think. That's so basic, right? Right. Sigh. Ok, I will wear them, because models wear heels, and they're tall too. Decision made. Great.
3. The "I AM FABULOUS" Moment
You're getting ready for your evening/day out and your outfit is ready, from head to toe. Your makeup is done, your hair is perfectly styled. You slip on those heels and, hot damn, you are a VISION. You put on your getting-ready-to-go-out-slash-conquer-the-universe playlist, and you dance around your house in heels. You will regret this later when your feet are in immense and total pain.
4. The Immediate Doubt Of Previous Decision To Wear Heels
You find yourself standing in a group, maybe waiting at a restaurant to get a table and all you can think is, "For the love of GOD, please let us sit down soon." You can easily see the tops of everyone else's head in the group, and you feel self-conscious beyond belief. You will have the following conversation with yourself: I wonder if everyone thinks I'm just HUGE. That's ridiculous. They probably just love my shoes, because they're so fabulous, how could anyone not? Is that guy staring at me because I'm a giant or because I'm pretty? Now I'll never even know. Thank God Bruno Mars is not in my friend group.
5. Someone Compliments You And It's All Ok
From my general observations in life, I've come to the conclusion that strangers are usually very nice. More often than not, if you're a tall girl wearing heels, someone will go out of your way to comment on how you are standing out in the crowd in a good way. There's usually a "you could be a model" comment, and even though you know that you are not a model for about 1,000 different reasons, you still are secretly very pleased by this.
6. Someone Makes A Comment That Causes To You Question Previous Compliment
These are the worst. If you're a really, really tall girl wearing really tall heels (or, honestly, any heels) people are always somewhat shocked. It's like watching a koala teach a kindergarten class or something; people just don't really understand what's happening. I was in an audience recently when I stood up, and the man behind me (who was about 80, by the way), tapped me on the shoulder soon after and said, "hey, shortie!" He's old, so I can't be too mean, right? But I was not pleased. He also said, "would ya look at that, honey?" (in reference to me) to his wife directly after I turned around, as if I was riding a unicycle while juggling flaming pineapples. Nope. Just really tall.
7. Someone Says Something Flat-Out Mean
There's always going to be that d-bag who throws out a, "why would YOU need to wear heels?" or "how's the weather up there?" or "I could just never date a girl who is taller than me." They all generally mean well (I think), but are just not very intelligent and/or are intimidated. It's always amazing to me that it's a recognized no-no to go up to a guy and say, "well, geez, you are SHORT," but for a tall girl, it's totally acceptable to comment on their height Whatever. I'm a little bitter.
8. You Just Really Want To Sit Down
At this point, you have mixed feelings about wearing heels. You love them, they're beautiful, and all you want is to enjoy them without having people make comments. But they're just intimidated, right? Who cares what they think? You do you. Plus, there's the other issue of being in intense pain. Your toes are squished, the back of your heel is blistered and you are left wondering why everything has to be SO hard in life. Gosh.
9. Ultimately, You Love Your Heels
At the end of the day, you brush off those mean/confusing comments from others and you realize that fashion was meant to surprise people. You realize that you should never deprive yourself of a trend you love just because you my stand out a little — or, OK, maybe a lot. You smile as you put your heels back on that shelf, and feel proud of yourself for turning a few heads and putting together a fabulous outfit. Because you're fabulous, and you know it. Period.
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