Fashion

Would You Buy Your Bra From a Vending Machine?

by Michelle King

Japanese lingerie company Wacoal has given the vending machine product that nobody asked for: Bras. The bra-dispensing robot, in theory, makes it easier and faster to buy bras, which is great. After all, does any woman actually like the process of going bra shopping? And, plus, isn't it always fun to see items come out of a vending machine? Still, I'd be pretty hesitant to purchase a bra without trying it on, no matter how frustrating and banal of a task that might be. But maybe I'm just old school. Perhaps vending machine bras are the way of the future, and you can either get on board the hovercraft or live to regret it.

Even if you never plan on wearing one, vending machine bras really do make you see all the possibilities that vending machines hold. I mean, you thought they were just good for dispensing chips and soda, but what about all the other items you could get with just the push of a button? Below are three vending machines that should be real, and one that shouldn't ever, ever, ever become a thing.

1. Lost Your Luggage Vending Machine: This could also be called the "How Did You Pack For a Vacation and Forget Underwear, You Idiot" vending machine. They'd be at airports, right next to the desk where some petulant woman tells you that, sorry, JetBlue doesn't know what happened to your bag, and would be stocked with towels, socks, and basic toiletries.

2. You Were Planning On Going Home After Work, But Suddenly Very Exciting Plans Came Up Vending Machine: Vending machines in offices that dispense small purses, basic makeup, and statement necklaces.

3. It's Been a Long Night Vending Machine: These vending machines would pop up from under the ground on Friday and Saturday nights (the future is going to be crazy, y'all), and provide Gatorade (you need your electrolights), bread, and fold-up ballet flats.

And one item that should never, ever, ever be in a vending machine...

The Cronut. You have to wait in line like the rest of us.