While his comedy bit was a nice reprieve from the hot mess that is the 2014 MTV VMAs, Jay Pharoah wasn't doing himself any favors when he stepped on stage and started riffing on the biggest folks in pop music. And while I'll admit I'm always ready for someone to say something offensive when they start riffing on Nicki Minaj's ass antics, Pharoah didn't go there. He did, however, proceed to be the creepiest dude at the VMAs. Sorry, Riff Raff. I know you had your heart set on that award.
When he took the stage to audition for next year's hosting gig (though after what we saw, the VMAs are probably going to stick to the whole no-host thing) he opened his bit with Nicki Minaj's now famous lap dance scene from "Anaconda." Apparently how she "put Drake in a bad position" by making him act like a creepy "guidance counselor" during his time in the video. It wasn't creepy or offensive. It was just the same joke Twitter and everyone else have been making for days now. Real creative, dude.
But then he had to ruin his perfectly boring interlude by moving onto Ariana Grande. You know, the 21-year-old super star who still looks 15 and showed up to last year's VMAs wearing a my size Barbie dress? Pharoah decided it would be a good idea to talk about how sexy she is, proceeded to assure us all that it wasn't creepy because she's totally of age, and remind us that she's still playing a tyke on the Disney channel where Pharaoah's own nephew has an innocent crush on her. And changing her "Problem" lyrics to "It's OK, guys, I'm 21, I'm totally" was the nail in the coffin. Sure, technically, this is all OK, but dayum was it creepy.
Pro-tip to award show presenters: Try not to make the viewers throw up in their mouths while you're providing a totally pointless segue. Deal? If not, just know, you're looking at a few hours of this:
A bit of the truth:
A dash of someone on Twitter totally outdoing you:
And a smattering of career death knells:
Maybe avoid being a total creep in the future. OK?