Beyonce's VMA Performance: We Counted the Hair Flips, The Giggles, the Tears, & More
Much like her 2013 Super Bowl Halftime performance, Beyoncé's 2014 MTV VMAs performance broke the Internet on Sunday night. Following a VMAs telecast that was dominated by amazing female performances, "the greatest living entertainer" (thanks for that one, Jay Z) won the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award and proceeded to perform her entire self-titled album. During which, Beyoncé made a powerful and important feminist statement that more or less convinced 86 percent of the world's non-feminists to adopt the cause. (You go, girl.) And it was everything any Beyoncé fan or non-fan has ever dreamed of — no, that's not an exaggeration.
The conversation about Beyoncé's 17 minutes on the VMA stage (yes, her performance was that long and you LOVED every blessed minutes of it) is limitless. Which is only to be expected, considering this is Queen Bey that we're dealing with here. But, to put it simply and honestly — she truly is #Flawless. But what exactly is it about Bey's performances that "slays" her fans and makes them feel like they've been touched by an angel?
Here's Beyoncé's 2014 VMA performance broken down by the numbers. An anatomy of a #flawless performance, if you will.
Number of Hair Flips — About 23
An approximate total of 23 hair flips made up Bey's performance. I know, that seems like too few, but to each his own interpretation of what makes one complete hair flip. Either way, here's a breakdown of that number from her 17-minute performance:
Number of Miscellaneous Hair Flips Early in the Performance — 4
"Blow" — 5
"Partition" — 6
"Rocket" — 7
"***Flawless" — 6
And that's how magic happens, people.
Number of Beyoncé Giggles — 3
The elusive, perfect Beyoncé giggle that's virtually inimitable, even with advanced technology. Bey granted us three of them on Sunday night — THREE. She's so generous, I can't even take it.
Number of Relationship References — 3
Following her welcoming us into her world, Bey sang "Mine," which was a powerful way as ever for her to address what's been going on behind closed doors. She followed that with a little bit of a paranoia discussion with "Jealous" and broke into her "***Flawless" Remix to address Elevatorgate. And that was sufficient enough for me.
Number of Feminist Moments — 4
All hail Queen Bey, for this powerful moment where she defined, in the simplest of terms, what feminism really means. And converted the entire Church of Beyoncé into feminists. But, aside from this extremely in-your-face feminist moment, Bey performed her sexually liberating "Blow" and "Rocket" and did a little straight-up pole dancing. Praise female sexuality.
Number of Beyoncé Angel Tears — Approximately 3
Ugh. I like to imagine Beyoncé's tears as being the closest substance currently existing on Earth to unicorn blood. And on Sunday night, at the end of her performance of "XO" Bey shed approximately three of those magical tears. Now that is why we all died immediately after watching this — including the people in charge of the telecast because the VMAs ended abruptly after Bey accepted her award from Jay Z and Blue Ivy. It's okay, MTV, we feel you.
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