Update: Us Weekly confirms that Chris Soules will be the next Bachelor. While he hasn't officially been named, former contestant Arie Luyendyk Jr. just dropped a pretty big hint that the next Bachelor will be Chris Soules. "I'm not the Bachelor, have fun on the farm people," Arie tweeted on Monday. He was in the running alongside Andi's suitors Chris and Nick Viall and the only one of them who lives on a farm is Chris. It's not surprising that ABC has probably picked the Iowa-raised farmer. He was a fan-favorite nice guy with abs. Although it's my personal opinion that he's a little too boring to make for an interesting season (we don't need another Sean Lowe), the show can always add more drama by the dates the choose to send Chris on.
In Bachelor-land the dates are decided between what producers want and what the Bachelor wants. But they only have a certain amount of control. Basically, they can say what they want to do and where they'd like to travel and the rest is up to the producers. For example, Jake Pavelka may have been afraid of heights, but that didn't stop the show from setting up a bungee jumping date. After all, it's not a very romantic journey if you have to do all the date planning by yourself and you're not scared out of your wits at one point, right???
So what kinds of dates can we expect from Chris' season? I'm thinking something along the lines of these eight options.
A DAREDEVIL DATE
Or several. Scaling a building, jumping out of a plane, who knows? But it will be scary and the lady most likely won't want to do it unless she uses a metaphor like "falling off this bridge is like falling in love: Scary but we're doing it together." Blah.
A HELICOPTER RIDE
Bonus points if the helicopter ride ends with the couple jumping out of it onto a snow-covered mountain or expanse of ocean.
DANCING AWKWARDLY IN FRONT OF A BAND YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF
The private concert date is a personal nightmare for me. I get anxious just watching the couples have to sway there while some unknown musician tries to get their start by appearing for free on reality TV. This date's awkward level is beat out only slightly by the dancing date in front of a crowd of people where the Bachelor and his lady are dancing on an elevated platform while a bunch of people stare at them and take pictures. The stuff of nightmares.
GROUP DATE: MUCKING THE LAND
I recommend that instead of a competitive date where the women play baseball or dodgeball in hopes of winning more time with Chris, that they instead have to complete farm chores. I Wanna Marry Harry did this one week and it was hilarious. What better way for Chris to find the right lady who can help out from time to time?
JOURNEY TO THE IOWA STATE FAIR
State pride will probably lead one lucky lady on a tour of the Iowa state fair where she can enjoy a farmer's cookout and take in the charity steer show. (Yes, for real.)
HOMETOWN DATE: PRETEND TO LOVE IOWA
A lot of Bachelors have more flexibility in where they can live after they finish the season. But Chris is a farmer and his farm is in Iowa. He's not going anywhere and his wife to be needs to know that and embrace that. Of course, that means that the hometown date girls need to pretend that they totally can see herself in Iowa. If they need inspiration, they can just watch Andi's season. She almost pulled that off.
There have been a few philanthropic dates here and there in the past, but judging by how much of a priority Chris makes it in his life, I'm betting he'll want to see if the women feel the same way he does. Besides, charitable dates always end in emotional tears for both the contestants and viewers and ABC likes that kind of stuff.
GLOBAL TRAVELS IN GREECE
Where will the Bachelor jet off to this time? Past exotic locations have included Paris, Thailand, the Caribbean, and more. If I had to predict a destination for this season I'd say Greece because host Chris Harrison has never been there and I'm pretty sure he has some say in the matter. Besides, Keeping Up With the Kardashians made it look amazing, so I'm sure no one would protest.
Also can we send them to Australia because I want this season's dramatic promos to include hints to shark attacks and giant spiders that hide in the toilet. Now that would be the most dramatic season of The Bachelor ever. And face it, boring Chris needs all the help he can get.