What's Bird's Real Name?

Between Crash and Bird I really don't know who's the worst person in Carter's life. On Tuesday night's episode of Finding Carter, we finally saw what's going to cause Carter and Bird's big fight. Bird's parents made an appearance in the new episode of Finding Carter, just in time to realize that their daughter's been pawning all of her mother's jewelry for Ofie. Awesome, right? What's even more awesome is that she tried to blame Carter for it.

Aside from what's really going to cause those two to butt heads in the upcoming episodes of Carter. We learned two very important things about Bird. First, that she is the WORST FRIEND EVER — even if she realized after finding out that Carter could go to jail for, like, ever that she should probably just tell the truth. And second, that her real name is Beatrix. Which, is actually kind of a cool, unique, and under-appreciated name but still, so not what I'd have assumed to be her real name. But, while that little detail is important for Finding Carter trivia night, there are bigger issues at hand.

Like the fact that Bird was willing to let Carter GO TO JAIL because she was too afraid to tell her mother that she'd been stealing her jewelry to get attention. But it makes perfect sense that she'd incriminate Carter, like Taylor told Elizabeth — have you talked to Bird? She's the most attention-starved child on the entire show, which includes Crash who will never let anyone forget that he has no family at all. (Shut up, Crash, not everything is about you.) Bird casually gave Carter a $20,000 bracelet and then tried to pin the missing $100,000 necklace she gave Ofie to pay off his gambling debts on her friend as well. Awesome. The situation escalated as quickly as it was resolved, however, as Carter sat in a cell for a few hours at most before Bird told the truth and apologized to her family.

The perfect amount of time for Crash to use the money he got from pawning the necklace for Ofie to bail Carter out of jail and for Carter's entire new life to go to shit. The episode ended with Carter and Crash cruising with the windows down and looking a hell of a lot like Thelma and Louise with their newfound freedom. If Thelma and Louise were the worst people ever. And we all have Bird to thank for this. Nice job, Beatrix.

Image: MTV