I'm not sure how I am awake this morning, because the outcome of the Pretty Little Liars Season 5 summer finale kept me up all of last night. And why not? It was easily the most horrific episode of Pretty Little Liars ever, and I am not only talking about Hanna's unfortunate tights situation. For those of you who haven't watched the finale, spoilers will follow. (And, also, what the hell are you waiting for?)
After cutting ties with Ali for good — because she kind of threw them under the bus for murder, and also because she's a sociopathic she-beast in general— the liars go to Mona for assistance fighting off Ali's next potential attack. That's when Mona discovers the link between Ali and Bethany Young, the girl in Ali's grave: It turns out that Ali knew Bethany because her mother was having an affair with Bethany's father, and Ali was apparently very jealous of the mental patient her mother visited every so often. This "proves" that Ali is A and that she had Bethany killed out of jealousy (there is still a Season 6 and 7 on the way; this proves nothing). But before Mona could go to the cops and rid the world of the Queen Bee From Hell, someone — a girl (maybe?!) with long blonde hair hidden in a hood, looking very much like Ali-as-A — breaks into Mona's house... and flat out murders her. Like, murders-murders her. I cannot even.
The Pretty Little Liars summer finale was a real dark doozy of an episode that broke all of our established rules about Pretty Little Liars (namely that the show doesn't go all Scream on us) and I'm both terrified and excited to see where it goes next. Here are the stages of watching the Pretty Little Liars episode "Taking This One To The Grave," because you no doubt will be taking the awful memories of watching it to yours.
It's the #FatalFinale. You know someone's going to die. You just don't know when
Wait, wait... is this a flash forward? Is someone already dead?
Oh, and now we're flashing back to 36 hours earlier
Please just tell me who is dead.
Why is Mona looking so fierce today?
OMG she's totally dying. She's totally dying because her hair will never again look so perfect. She'll die a perfectly coiffed martyr.
Why don't these girls leave Rosewood? They're either going to get murdered or arrested for someone else's murder
It has to be time for college by now, right?
Can someone please explain to me why Aria's parents invited Ezra over to Thanksgiving dinner? He is currently her English teacher
Why do the nurses at Radley not have modern uniforms?
Where did the costume designer get these, Party City?
OK, Spencer, we get that you think Toby's hot, but please stop with the police officer roleplay
This is family television.
Great, the cops are back — Awesome
Also, can someone clarify what time it is? Thanksgiving? Christmas?
All I know is that no one wears a coat on this show, ever.
OK, OK, back to the mystery. Is Ali actually A? Or just a sociopath?
What was with that polygraph? And that evil smirk she gave behind Emily's back?!
Why is Holbrook talking to Ali?! And why can't we hear what he's saying?
Wait, the cops think that Spencer killed Bethany as a favor to Ali?
That theory has more holes than Hanna's tights.
Mona's on her sleuthing game — Things will be OK
Mona figured out the Ali/Bethany connection. We're saved!
But wait... someone is going to die
Who is that climbing the stairs to Mona's room?!
Is that Ali?!? It looks like Ali.
OMFG. Someone just brutally murdered Mona — That is a thing that happened
NONE OF THIS IS OK
IT WILL TAKE FOREVER TO SOLVE THIS MYSTERY
So much mental anguish. SO MANY FEELS.