Entertainment
Joan Rivers' 17 Most Controversial Jokes From Kim Kardashian's Sex Tape to Menopause
The late Joan Rivers infamously said, "I succeeded by saying what everyone else was thinking." And she was right. While her comedy was rarely PG-rated, her words rang true with a certain sort of inappropriate wisdom her fans couldn't help but latch onto. While the comedian and Fashion Police host died on Thursday, she will be remembered for her huge heart, and her hugely inappropriate jokes. Here are the 17 most controversial one-liners from Joan Rivers.
Rest in peace, wonderful lady!
Fat Jokes
“I hate thin people; ‘Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?’”
Sex Tape Tropes
“As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It’s ‘Something Old’ as well as ‘Something Blew,’” she tweeted.
Plastic Surgery Woes
“I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.”
Bedazzled Hardwood Floors
“I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”
On "Brand"
“Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children’s books. First up: ’Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer,’” she tweeted.
Delicious Infidelity
“Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ’My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?”
Children are like Supermodels
“Grandchildren can be so f-cking annoying. How many times can you go, ‘And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink’? It’s like talking to a supermodel.”
Family Troubles
“All I ever heard when I was a kid was, ‘Why can’t you be more like your cousin Sheila?’ And Sheila had died at birth.”
Color Coordinating
“I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.”
Baby Blues
“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
Fluff and Fold?
“My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.”
Blue's Your Color
“I said to my husband: ’My boobs have gone, my stomach’s gone, say something nice about my legs’. He said: ‘Blue goes with everything.’”
How do you spell "S-A-L-A-D"?
“On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.”
No Housewife Here
“I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later, you have to start all over again.”
Gender Confusion
“I have so little sex appeal my gynecologist calls me ‘sir.’”
Menopause's Dual Purpose
“Had a friend who is going through menopause come by for lunch today. Her hot flash was so bad, it steam-cleaned my carpet.”
Marriage is never happy
“Half of all marriages end in divorce — and then there are the really unhappy ones.”
