The following is a list of things that are not acceptable responses to domestic violence:
- Calling someone literally punching another person in the face a "dispute". They aren't arguing about whose turn it is to take the trash out. That word carries an outdated subtext of ignoring within the context of a romantic relationship behavior that would otherwise be unquestioningly labeled as criminal.
- Criticizing how someone reacts to being a victim of violence. The emotional and psychological dynamics within an abusive relationship are not only as complex and fucking messy as it gets, but they vary greatly from one situation to another. Even if you have been part of a relationship that objectively looks similar, you still don't have the authority to judge - or even claim to fully understand - the experiences of a specific person.
- Saying anything to imply that a victim staying in a relationship with their abuser constitutes anything resembling consent. Even if staying with someone is a brutal shit-show, leaving them can be even more terrifying.
- Saying or doing anything that doesn't lend itself to the creation of a mental and/or physical environment of safety and support for the victim.
- Saying or doing anything that attempts to defend, explain, or justify the actions of someone who is violent against another person.
Doesn't it feel weird that we have to actually say these things?
Here are the 'Fox & Friends' co-hosts laughing about Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice punching his wife in an elevator.
Here is a list of things that are not the message of the Ray Rice incident:
- "Take the stairs." – No, Brian Kilmeade, I don't think that "never being alone in an enclosed space with someone" is quite the "message" of this whole thing. Maybe your co-host Steve Douchey, err, Doocy knows!
- "She still married him!" No. Not even at all.
- "The message is, when you're in an elevator, there's a camera." BECAUSE OTHERWISE, IT'S FINE TO PUNCH SOMEONE?