Early aughts Mandy Moore isn't my first choice for fantasy best friend. Where am I getting my feelings from? Well, Mandy Moore's "Candy" music video, of course. Watching it back after years of distance between us, it's clear that she'd be a rather exhausting companion. You totally had friends like her in high school. Sure, "Candy" Mandy would be fun in small doses, but most of the time, she'd be the kind of gal pal with whom you become regularly frustrated due to her inability to understand the feelings of others. That and, well, I guess you can't eat candy around her because she has sworn it off for some unspecified reason.
Think about it. In the video for her debut single, Mandy can sure make a sexy face but she doesn't know the meaning of the word considerate. For example, she takes forever to get ready as her chick clique courteously waits outside. She insists on belting out a song at the retro style diner as her friends look on. Sure, they signed up for a catch-up sesh, but Mandy insists on making it a show. Then she abandons her friends for "generic tan buff kid" at the teen eatery. 'Kay, I guess I'll call my parents to give me a ride home.
Whether or not her dancers-turned-music-video-friends verbalize it, I know what they're thinking: They just can't even with Mandy right now. Here are all of the reasons:
She keeps you waiting forever as she gets ready
The first outfit was fine but she insists on going for something a little trendier.
Costume change No. 3 gets it right. Fabric arm band, cargo pants and all.
We're still here, Mandy!
All that time gussying herself up, she doesn't even invite you in for a glass of lemonade.
WE'RE LEAVING YOU HERE IF YOU DON'T COME DOWN NOW!!
Her driving makes you nervous
For Mandy, "driving" means making sexy faces in the side and rear view mirrors.
SHE'S NOT EVEN PRETENDING TO LOOK AT THE ROAD!!!
Singing at restaurants is one of her many rude habits
When you eat out at restaurants, she sings at the table. It's humiliating, and you're tired of attracting dirty looks from strangers. But reminding her that she isn't the only person in the restaurant never helps...
So you just pretend like you don't know her.
She totally ditches you for random guys on the regular
This happens all the time and she always drives. Thus, you're stranded at public places more often than you care to admit.
She peer-pressures you to do dangerous things for the sake of dudes
You know, like that time she made you hang out at the bottom of an empty pool because of the high concentration of skater boys. It was like being in a motorcycle cage.
Oh, Mandy. Whether or not you're a considerate friend, we're still LYLAS. Let's hang out over the summer! Just let me drive...
Images: Mandy Moore Vevo/ YouTube (11)