Remember when we all complained there wasn't enough male nudity on Game of Thrones? That we wished there was a source of entertainment that came complete with more brawn than boobs? Well, you're in luck — the first trailer for 300: Rise of an Empire was released Wednesday, and though the March 7 release comes sans Gerard Butler, it brings with it plenty of 300's patented homoeroticism.
Because if there's anything to take away from the teaser for the film — which stars Rodrigo Santoro and Sullivan Stapleton — it's that everything should be done shirtless. Like going to important meetings:
Wood-carving (score 1 for euphemisms):
Addressing your people (fun fact: Obama wears one of these under his suit every State of the Union):
Screwing (so long as the woman's still clothed, naturally):
And did we mention battling? (True, armor would be more effective, but it would just ruin the look):
And if the muscles weren't enough, here's an added bonus: 300: Rise of an Empire comes complete with Spartan-turned-Cersei Lannister Lena Headey (surrounded, of course, by muscles):
Seems we've found an antidote to our Game of Thrones withdrawal until Season 4. So cheer up, everyone! (Including you, sad Robb Stark.)
Image: Warner Bros.