I'm going to take a page from the great Lemony Snicket's book here and encourage you to stop reading this article if you know what's good for you. You were probably having a nice day before you came to Bustle and clicked on this headline, and I'd like that good day to continue. Why don't you go take a nice, simple BuzzFeed quiz determining which stage of the water cycle you would be ( Series of Unfortunate Events inside joke, sorry) and save yourself from the news I'm about to share. You have until the end of this sentence. Still here? Okay, here it comes... Meadham Kirchhoff featured bloody tampon earrings in its Spring 2015 collection. I warned you and you didn't listen and now you know.
Designers Edward Meadham and Benjamin Kirchhoff delivered a decidedly "punk" collection at London Fashion Week, complete with "hairy" yellow tights, latex maxi skirts, and, OH YEAH, bloody tampon earrings. Vivienne Westwood is shaking with rage at having not thought of it first. I'm shaking with rage at my inability to unsee them now that they exist. We all need therapy appointments thanks to the evil geniuses Meadham and Kirchhoff.
I am all for the normalization of periods, I really am. Periods happen and they kind of suck, but they're also about as natural as it gets. Menstrual shame is something that makes me so angry that my head spins around, Exorcist style. But I could really do without the bloody tampon statement earring. Not only is it gross-looking, it's also confusing. What are the Satanic overlords of Meadham and Kirchhoff trying to say? Is this an activist thing or just a shock-value thing?
Dear reader, I leave it up to you. Interpret the bloody tampon earring as you wish. But please, I'm begging you...don't wear it.