Basic Bitches Love These 8 Things, So Why Not Dress Like Them For Halloween?

Fall was pretty much made for basic bitches. “This is probably the best thing ever,” she squeals as she buys her first PSL of the season. “Obviously I’m going out of my way to step on this pile of leaves,” she thinks as she walks to class wearing leggings and an oversized flannel #sorrynotsorry. And don’t even bother looking at her Instagram for the next three months — it's just gonna be a bunch of sweaters and scarves. I can’t even.

What could possibly be more basic than Halloween? The basic bitch started out her October 31st adventures by Trick or Treating in a cheerleader Barbie costume that EVERY other girl on the block and in her first grade class wore. After deciding she’d “NEVER be caught dead” with her Mom on the “biggest night of the year,” she graduated to Halloween parties, where she drank a questionable concoction of punch in some kid’s basement. Oh, and she was a mouse. Duh.

Now, the important question: What should every basic bitch be for Halloween? After last year’s pretty much impossible decision between going as a Minion or black cat, she should probably just stick to things she knows. You know — those things she just can’t live without. These eight costumes are basically perfect for any basic bitch.

Yeah, these things just, like, get her.

1. The Bachelorette

Basic bitches are pretty much obsessed with The Bachelorette. They totally want to be the next Andi Dorfman because she’s basically perfect.

The Bachelorette costume consists of two things: your fanciest dress and a rose. All you have to do is hold it all night while DESPERATE bachelors come your way. Or creepy guys drinking cheap beer. Whatever works.

This is also the perfect costumer for the basic bitch whose life is just SUPER crazy busy at the moment.

2. Pinterest

Pinterest is pretty much the basic bitch bible. She creates a wedding board when she’s so single it hurts. She pins recipes so everyone will think she’s #wifematerial. You know, so she doesn’t have to do homework.

Start out by stringing a giant poster board over your body. You obviously want to make this costume as realistic as possible, right? Glue on some photos of an outfit you can’t afford, a step-by-step workout you’ll never do, and — for kicks — an inspirational quote that means literally nothing .

3. PSL

OMG, you HAVE to include this costume. You just have to, because #fall. Because #tradition.

The basic bitch must apply so much self tanner that she turns orange — which, for some, won’t be a huge change in her daily routine. Make a necklace with all the Tones spices jars you never use. Then, tape the green mermaid to your shirt.

Enjoy with pumpkin vodka.

4. Paris

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Look — Paris is by no means basic. But for some reason, basic bitches are completely obsessed with it. They would pretty much die if they were proposed to in the city of love.

There’s quite a bit you can do with this one. Wear a beret. An Eiffel Tower necklace. Talk about the crazy weekend you spent there while studying abroad. Doesn’t matter. Whatever you do, you MUST let people know that you totally want to go to Paris because it’s just the greatest.

5. Audrey Hepburn Poster

Again, it’s not about the actual person, but the obsession. If the basic bitch didn’t have a Breakfast at Tiffany’s poster in her dorm room, did she even go to college?

Now, in order to pull this off, you MUST let people know that you’re dressing up as a poster, not the leading lady herself. Go all out with the black dress, sunglasses, and pearls, but make sure to put a tack or blue tape on your forehead so everyone knows your true identity. Kidding — kind of.

6. "Live Laugh Love"

This completely cliché and vague phrase is used pretty much ALL the time by our good friends. They just live by it, you know?

First part of the costume? Live. Try a heart monitor or something to prove to everyone that you’re alive. Laugh? Obnoxiously giggle all night. Love? Hug everyone.

7. Selfies

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The basic bitch will probably take selfies all night, so she might as well dress up as one.

How exactly does it work? Take selfies, obviously. Rock a duck face all night. Tilt your head until you get a neck cramp. Get stickers and write down every single hashtag that you’ll obnoxiously use. #Halloween #girlsnight #friends #sofun #college #party #PLEASESTOP

8. Basic Bitch Outfit

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When all else fails, the basic bitch may go to Halloween parties as herself. Just put on a pair of Uggs and leggings and you’re pretty much good to go.

Oh, make sure to tell everyone that you “just don’t do” costumes all night. They’ll be really interested.

Images: Getty (4); ABC; Beckyhansmeyer, Drinksmachine, Rachelsouze, StartBloggingOnline.com