Will the dulcet musings of Nicki Minaj's freshest track "Anaconda" ever stop being the gift that keeps on giving? I think not. First, we got the booty poppin' song itself. Even those of us with ne'er an ass to speak of got into this be-thonged, hindquarter-waving celebration. Then, we got a viral assault of people's parents, grandparents, and elderly church-going neighbors reacting to the video.
And now, finally, we get an 11-year-old dance prodigy breaking it down on the floor to such an extent that I maybe screamed, "YOU JUST GOT SERVED, AMERICA, AND IT WAS A CAKE FRESH FROM THE OVEN, SO I HOPE YOU SAVED ROOM FOR DESSERT ALSO CAN I OFFER YOU A MINT?" Because I don't quite understand how to express enthusiasm about awesome dance moves, and I won't apologize for that so don't try and make me.
So please now meet the reason for my bellowing. Her name is Taylor Hatala. The tiny dancer (#ELTON4EVER) is from Canada. She is dope and fly and also groovy. CANADA, WHY U HAVE SUCH DELIGHTS WITHIN YER BORDERS?
I am perpetually wowed by people who can dance. That wow-feeling (can we please make "wow-feeling" happen?) is tripled when I'm confronted with a person who can bust major moves, but doesn't even need a training bra yet, and maybe also needs an adult to get them into a PG-13 movie. Frankly, it's a bit embarrassing – for me, not for them. Those dancing kids can rock on with their bad selves. What I mean is, every time I witness a kid break out some killer twirls and what-have-you, I become convinced that this is something that I too am capable of. This has never even once been the case, but do I let that stop me? Absolutely not. Because that would make waaaaay too much sense.
Once, in high school, after a particularly spirited re-viewing of Newsies, I took to my bedroom to blast the soundtrack and re-enact some of my fav moves. This, inexplicably, included me thinking I could leap vertically over a laundry basket, a massive chest, and my own bed with a mere flick of my graceful ankle. This was very much not the case and I landed with a resounded belly-slap of a thud face-down on the chest, knocking the wind from my lungs. Stay classy, non-dancers. Let's let the child prodigies take it from here on out.
Image: Nicki Minaj/YouTube