I Tried Orange's "Future Self" Website And It Was Traumatic, To Say The Least

We've all wondered about the future — what it would look like, what we would look like, and whether or not we'd be happily married to Ryan Gosling and helping him raise his beautiful child from that past relationship. (OK, don't act like you've never wondered.) Well, now you can get a glimpse into your future with Orange's new FutureSelf website. With the help of its webcam-linked software, the site will show you what you like in 20 years. Or in my case, what I'd look like if I were white and British (you'll see).

In celebration of its 20th anniversary, French global telecommunications company Orange is asking customers to stay with them for another 20 years ... by enticing them with a look at their older selves. After taking a picture of your face with your webcam, the software generates an animated rendering of what you'll supposedly look like in 20 years. But that's not all.

As if seeing this weird version of yourself — mine kind of looked like a middle-aged soccer mom in Grand Theft Auto — wasn't bizarre enough, the site then becomes a video call between you and your future self. So now that you're Skyping with yourself, you can ask yourself questions about the future and what your life is like 20 years from now. Here's my experience with FutureSelf, and why I suddenly appreciate living in the present so much more.

This Is What I Look Like Now, in 2014:

It Asks For Some Specifics

The Software Works Its Magic

This Is My Future Self, in 2034:

What on earth is this?!?

My future self greeted me in a British accent:

Hi it's me. I mean, it's you ... in 20 years' time. I was quite a looker, wasn't I?

I guess it kind of looks Asian? Or maybe at some point in the next 20 years, some ethnic cleanser with a degree in engineering will invent a device that makes us all white. Either way, I'm digging the British accent I'll have in the future.

What My Future Life Is Like

So during your weird Skype session with your future self, it/you/she (?) suggests some question categories to ask about, like money, sports, and communication.

I take their suggestion and ask, "How much money will I make in 20 years?"

My future self responds:

You want to know if we're rich? Is that all you can think about? How petty minded of you. Just kidding — we're rolling in dough!


Of course I'm curious about my future love life, so I ask who I'll be married to.

Future self responds:

I'm so happy I think I could cry. OK, come on. Get a grip.

OK, that's promising.

Then I ask what job I'll have in 20 years.

Job? What job? We don't work. We do exactly what we like. It's totally different now.

Very promising!

Then I ask what the world will be like, and she gives me this totally lame self-aware answer:

In the future, you can communicate with yourself in the past. Incredible, huh?

But let's get to the important stuff. The million-dollar question for my future self is: "Will Ryan Gosling become single and will I marry him?"

You know I've completely forgotten about him. His new career as an extreme gardener obviously hasn't been very successful.

Future self, I hate you.

Images: Orange FutureSelf