Vagina Tightening Cream Promises To Make Your Lady Parts "18 Again." Oh Boy.

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You can buy anything on Amazon, from those books to those ridiculous "Bic for Her" pens to, apparently, vagina-shrinking cream. Yes, it turns out there is a product out there specially designed to tighten your vagina, and it's called 18 Again Vaginal Shrink Cream." Are there more such products? If there are, I don't want to know.

The product's page on Amazon promises that it "increases pleasure for both him and her" and will make you "feel younger and sexier." It doesn't, however, actually provide any detailed description of or make any real claims about what the product actually does, however. The closest they come is vague statements like "Recapture your vagina's youth" which sort of makes me think it was never really intended to work in the first place. Well, that and the fact that they have a legal disclaimer right there on the page.

The truth is that, while there are guys who think girls get "stretched out" by too much sex, those guys are assholes who don't know what they're talking about. In real life, the muscles and tissue that make up and surround the vagina are elastic, meaning they relax during sex and then go back to normal afterwards. Even when it comes to child birth, most young women go back to their usual tightness after a few months. So the idea that sex stretches women out is just dumb. Unless, I guess, you're having sex with a guy whose penis is the size of a new born baby.

Which brings us back to the question of what this stuff even actually does or why someone would think it's necessary. And, the million dollar question: What is up with all the positive Amazon reviews? Are these people getting paid by the company or are they just victims of the placebo effect? Or, maybe, does this sketchy product actually work?

Who knows. Though I do take it as telling that this is the review people have rated as most helpful:

Anyway, the product is real, so you are now sharing a world with vagina-shrinking cream. Make of that what you will.

Images: Amazon; Giphy; Amazon