Gwyneth Paltrow To Launch Goop Clothing Line, And It's Sure To Be Absurdly Overpriced

Looks like one of the world's most famous actresses/luxury-lifestyle gurus is expanding her empire. Gywneth Paltrow announced last night that she'll be launching a Goop clothing line, which she hopes to have on her site sometime in 2015. And I think we can count on some down-to-earth product descriptions and reasonable prices, don't you? HAHAHA.

The announcement, which was included in the news of the appointment of Lisa Gersh as the brand's new CEO, revealed that the line will consist of mostly basic wardrobe staples to begin with. And we all know how G. Pal (can I call you G. Pal, Gwyneth? Or Gwynny?) does with basics — remember the collaboration with Kain Label a couple of years back that spawned the $90 white tee? Yeah, I think we can expect the same sort of thing. According to Gersh, home decor and beauty products are also in the works.

In case you were worried this could be the end of Goop capsule collections, don't fret: Another collaboration with Stella McCartney is in the works, as well as one with Diane von Furstenberg. (But were you really that concerned?)

While I do think Paltrow's a pretty well-dressed lady, I'm not expecting any of the items in the line to be within my budget. Like, not even close. To be honest, this is kind of what I'm expecting to see on goop.com when the line is launched.... I hope I'm wrong.

The Must-Have White Tank, $130

This beautifully crafted essential is a must for any woman on the go. Pair it with my favorite Valentino red leather jacket for a little edge when you're munching on gluten-free tapas in Barcelona, or dress it down with a simple pair of Louboutins and your classic Chanel cross-body bag when you're scooping your kids up once a month from school (private school, of course).

(Actual item: Mango, $12.99)

Gwyneth's Favorite Skinnies, $490

Tibetan nuns hand-stitch the seams on these to-die-for skinny jeans. The wash is incredibly flattering on all (healthy) body types, and they're made with 34-inch inseams to accommodate our clientele's long, model-like gams. (Please note, these jeans are meant for a slim figure, so they are only made in size 6 and under.)

(Actual item: H&M, $19.95)

Cozy Cashmere Cardigan, $440

This cardigan is ideal for covering up in those chilly movie theaters at any casual premiere you stop by. The wardrobe staple comes in three colors: organic wheatgrass green, custom-grown peony pink, and white quinoa (similar to an oatmeal shade, but much healthier).

(Actual item: Gap, $69.95)

I know I rag on her, but despite my qualms about G. Pal, at least she knows who she is: During an appearance on The Chew in 2012, she did say that if her site were to go by any other name, it would be "SpoiledWhiteRichGirl.com." At least she can joke about herself. That, I like. You do you, G. Pal.

Images: Courtesy manufacturers