This Woman Had A Three-Inch Leech Up Her Nose For A Month So If You'll Excuse Me, I Need To Go Throw Up Forever

It's a tale as old as time: British backpacker gets into motorcycle accident in South-East Asia, for one month afterwards thinks a bump in her nose is congealed blood from a symptomatic burst blood vessel, discovers instead that it's a huge leech. That's what happened to Daniela Liverani, who discovered a three-inch leech had been INSIDE HER NOSE for one whole month. The lump of congealed blood? Yeah, that was actually THE HEAD OF A LEECH. I'm sorry about the caps. And I'm sorry for the next sentence: I JUST CAN'T EVEN WITH THIS. IT'S SO GROSS AND ALSO WHY? WHY IS THIS A THING THAT HAPPENED? WHAT IS LIFE? It's like when you hear urban myths about women who didn't know they were pregnant (but eleventy billion times creepier). HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW?

When Daniela first realized the lump protruding from her nose wasn't actually a blood clot but actually, you know, A LIVE BUG, she was in the shower, and the leech was CRAWLING ABOUT, TOUCHING HER LIP. She said of her realization, "When I was in the shower, he would come right out as far as my bottom lip and I could see him sticking out the bottom of my nose. So when that happened, I jumped out of the shower to look really closely in the mirror and I saw ridges on him. That's when I realized he was an animal." I don't know what I hate more. The fact that there was a leech in this woman's nose or that she designated it a gender.

Daniela tried to remove Mr. Leech herself, first blowing and then attempting to pull at it (sorry, I can't do the "him" thing) with her fingers. This was obviously a bad idea, and she ended up being rushed to the emergency room, in pain, where it was removed by doctors who now have a really great disgusting story for all future dinner party guests. The extrication process took around an half and hour, and Daniela said, "It was agony – whenever the doctor grabbed him, I could feel the leech tugging at the inside of my nose. Then all of a sudden, after half an hour, the pain stopped and the doctor had the leech in the tweezers. He was about as long as my forefinger and as fat as my thumb." It's believed the leech got up her nose when she was swimming in Vietnam, or that it got in through her mouth from drinking water. JUST. WHAT?

BRB, compulsively and aggressively checking my nose in the mirror for epic leech infestations.

Image: OakleyOriginals/Flickr