4 Things Girls Who Only Have Guy Friends Want Everyone To Understand
As fun as it can be, it's sometimes really hard to be a girl who has only guy friends. During my university years, all my closest friends were guys, so much so that when there were "dude nights" I would be the only female invited along. Even though years have passed and I now live in a different city (and consequently don't hang out with those guys any more), I still have a few select male BFFs. There's a stigma attached to having mostly men as friends when you're a woman: People assume that you're trying to manipulate something out of the friendship, that you're anti-woman, or that you just want attention, but sometimes all that it comes down to is that you want to sit about in your underpants farting and seeing how many McDonald's cheeseburgers you can fit in your mouth without being judged. Or maybe, like any other friendship, these guys just happen to be the whole with whom you have the most in common. Maybe it's just how it all worked out, no agenda involved.
Especially when you're a younger woman, embracing bodily function is often the sole territory of boys, whereas girls are often still interested in upholding some sort of arbitrary sense of propriety (eventually the desire to be ladylike wanes, and we all enjoy swimming in a fog of our own noxious bodily gasses.) So for girls who align with boys (but don't identify as boys and are maybe even still attracted to boys), there are certain things you understand about feeling more comfortable in the company of men than women that many people just don't understand.
1. HAVING GUY FRIENDS ISN'T ABOUT HATING WOMEN
When I was younger, most of the women I was exposed to were prudish or uptight, which is a totally legitimate way to be. It's just that I wasn't like that, and I wanted to be super gross all the time. That is what initially drew me to friendships with boys. It wasn't about not understanding women or not getting along with women (I love and cherish the company of women, and have several female best friends), it was just that I wanted to do the things the boys I knew were doing, and I had less interest in doing the things the girls I knew were doing. So while the girls were chatting about makeup and gossip, I was more interested in filling a jug with milk, chicken bits, mayonnaise and any other perishable kitchen items I could find to leave it in the sun and trick people into smelling it a week later. That has nothing to do with disliking women and absoluetly everything to do with being an immature idiot (but in a good, lovable way, obvs.)
2. BEING CLOSE TO SOMEONE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX CAN BE COMPLETELY ASEXUAL
Just because you are a straight woman hanging out with straight men doesn't mean you want to have sex with them. You want to have sex with them about as much as you want to have sex with your female friends or your gay friends, which is not at all (or at least not enough to hurt the friendship.) No one seems to really understand this, and in some respects, I get it; It's a rare thing to be able to be friends with someone of the opposite sex and not bone them at some point. I guess when you do sex things with a friend, it means you value your attraction to them more than your friendship. Which is valid in some cases; I've certainly experienced some attractions that have been more valuable than some friendships. Not necessarily with the same people, but each thing can be varying degrees of important, if my point, so I would never judge someone for making the call that physical chemistry with a particular person trumps friend potential. Regardless, it is true that there are some straight male/female relationships that are very simply platonic, and will never lead to sex. Those are the ones where there's zero attraction, and infinity friendship.
3. YOU CAN BE FEMININE AND ENJOY FART JOKES TOO
People always think that if you're "one of the boys" you must be butch and masculine too, but you feel perfectly entitled to your femininity. There's nothing that says you can't wear a pretty dress while chugging beers and watching sports. You understand contradictions in personalities, and you're comfortable with yours, because as much as you might always blow dry your hair, or wear lip gloss, you're still going to bro down with the best of them. There's really no "one way" a woman should be. And to be clear, if you don't wear lip gloss or dresses, that's a perfectly feminine way for a woman to be too. The point is, it's not fair to hem in our definitions of femininity.
4. SOMETIMES YOUR FRIENDS' GIRLFRIENDS REALLY ARE THE WORST
From your vantage point, you are able to see all the things women do in relationships that are only terrible because of how unnecessary they are. For instance, jealousy. Girlfriends of your guy friends are often jealous of you, and that sometimes manifests in ugly ways. Of course, this doesn't always happen. Sometimes your dude friends date awesome women who total respect the friendship you have with their beau, and thank god for these ladies. Because you know, more than anyone, that with you, there's nothing to be jealous of. There's often a weird tension between you and the girlfriends of your male friends, and even when you try to be super nice, sometimes that will never be resolved. The worst part? You're always the one that gets sidelined in these situations.