Entertainment

Kate Middleton's Post-Baby Body: How We Can Change the Conversation

A woman who recently had a baby went grocery shopping. How is the news? Because she's married to a prince and she looks skinny. It pretty much goes without saying at this point that it's incredibly damaging to have this attitude toward celebrity post-baby bodies. So what should we say about it? Well, like your mom always said, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. These gossipy "news" outlets clearly won't shut up, so let's give them something nice to say, instead.

by Caroline Pate

A Look at the Headlines Out There & What They Should've Said Instead

A woman who recently had a baby went grocery shopping. How is the news? Because she's married to a prince and she looks skinny. It pretty much goes without saying at this point that it's incredibly damaging to have this attitude toward celebrity post-baby bodies. So what should we say about it? Well, like your mom always said, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. These gossipy "news" outlets clearly won't shut up, so let's give them something nice to say, instead.

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'Kate Middleton quickly sheds baby weight'

What they said: "In the thin-after-baby celebrity Olympics, there's a new title holder."

"Just over a month after giving birth to Prince George on July 22, Duchess Kate flaunted an enviably fit figure..."

"Scanning past that stomach — flatter than even most never-been-pregnant 31-year-olds..."

"Kate's recent competition in the world of new moms who slim down before their babies are done spitting up includes Claire Danes, Megan Fox and Shakira. But really: It's obvious who takes the crown."

What they could have said: "It's great that Kate's out and about only a month after having her baby. She looks very happy and not at all like she's competing with a bunch of other female celebrities she's never met."

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'Kate Middleton Steps Out, Debuts Super Slim Post-Baby Bod—See the Pic!'

What they said: "Despite only haven give birth on July 22, the 31-year-old's slim physique seems to have bounced right back. Especially her waistline—which appeared teeny even in horizontal stripes."

What they should've said: "Hark, a human woman who has just given birth to a child! She is getting groceries and must have more important things to do than have people talk about how she looks. Also, anyone can wear horizontal stripes."

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'Kate Middleton's pregnancy pounds ‘melted off''

What they said : "Five weeks after giving birth to the newest royal, Prince George of Cambridge, Kate Middleton stepped out for a bit of grocery shopping — with no remnants of her pregnancy weight gain in sight!"

"The new mom, 31, was spotted pushing her own grocery cart at a local Waitrose supermarket on Monday, showing off her thin frame in a pair of black jeans and a striped shirt."

What they should've said: "Fun fact: Kate Middleton has a Master's degree in Art History. Also, those are really cute jeans."

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'Kate Middleton Reemerges in Breton Stripes, Already Skinnier Than You'

What they said: "Yes, that's right, not only does she look as slim as ever, it just kind of happened without her even having to try. A fairy tale, indeed."

What they should've said: "People lose weight in very different ways, so don't waste your time comparing your body to anyone else's! Our bodies are but meaningless vessels!"

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'Kate Middleton Steps Out, Looks Slim One Month After Giving Birth to Prince George: Pictures'

What they said: "What baby weight?! After welcoming her first child, Prince George, with husband Prince William one month ago, Kate Middleton stepped out for the first time in her hometown of Anglesey, Wales, and revealed her stunningly slim post-baby body on Monday, Aug. 26."

"...Middleton showed off her thin frame (and completely flat stomach!) as she pushed a shopping cart in the store's parking lot."

What they should've said: "What am I doing with my life?" "How about that Syria thing, huh?" Literally, anything. Anything else.

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