Leslie Knope Reacts to Amy Poehler Using Cocaine

While Amy Poehler and her Parks and Recreation character Leslie Knope are clearly as oil is to water — which is to say, very, very different — I can't help but constantly wonder how Leslie Knope would react to Poehler's often crazy (and occasionally inappropriate) sense of humor. Leslie Knope, on the NBC comedy series, is as straight-edged as they come, and Poehler...well, Poehler's been said to be able to "pretty much curse any of the dudes on [Parks and Recreation] under the table." It's one of the many reasons I love Poehler, of course, but it's pretty much safe to say that Leslie Knope, whose most inappropriate thoughts are either about Ben's butt or breakfast foods, would not approve. And now, with the release of Poehler's new memoir Yes Please , the comedian has detailed some drug use, including her love (and hatred) of cocaine.

So, obviously, considering the most her Parks and Rec character has ever done was eat a brownie she thought was laced with pot in college (only to find out it wasn't laced with anything — it was just a really good brownie), of course I have to ask: How would Leslie Knope react to Amy Poehler's admitted cocaine use?

Not sanely, to say the least.

She would be absolutely shocked, at first

Then she'd deny it, because it must be a joke

Amy looks like a ball of sunshine! How could she do drugs?

But then she'd think about it more and more, letting it fester...

Maybe stress-eat some breakfast foods...

And pastries...

And these "child size" sodas...

And she'd come up with some sort of way-too-detailed list and plan to amp up anti-drug campaigns in Pawnee, because it's an important issue (and an easier way to distract herself)

She'd even enlist beautiful Ann's help!

And April's...because she's the young cool kid who can relate to Pawnee's youth, of course

She'd try to put on a skit with April at the local high school to appeal to kids, but it would just be weird in its own, Pawnee way...

But it would kind of work. Mostly because the kids would all think she was on drugs and be scared of trying them forever.

Whatever gets results, though, right?

Also, she'd send a letter to Amy Poehler's agent welcoming her to visit Pawnee and go to coffee with Leslie if she wanted to talk, but wouldn't get a response. It was a long shot, anyway...

But, she tried, and that's why we love her.

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