11 Weird Celebrity Sex Tapes That Should Not Exist

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You've heard about the most famous ones. Hell, you might have even seen sex tapes involving the likes of Pam Anderson and Kim Kardashian. But fresh off of the news that new porn star Farrah Abraham is now a millionaire following 'Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom,' we have to wonder, have you heard of these sex tapes? (We certainly hope not.)

Celebrity Sex Tapes You Should've Skipped

You've heard about the most famous ones. Hell, you might have even seen sex tapes involving the likes of Pam Anderson and Kim Kardashian. But fresh off of the news that new porn star Farrah Abraham is now a millionaire following 'Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom,' we have to wonder, have you heard of these sex tapes? (We certainly hope not.)

Pam Anderson and Bret Michaels

As if we needed to know that you let not one, but TWO big-haired rockers near your vajayjay. Poor taste my friend. Very poor taste indeed.

Meg White and... Unidentified Man

Ugh. I will admit that I watched this one, and it was super weird. Because Meg White isn't the first name that pops into your head when you think porn, and honestly, even after watching this, it still won't be.

Dustin Diamond and Multiple Unidentified Women

Who knew Screech from 'Saved By the Bell' even HAD sex, let alone purposely had sex in front of a camera to jumpstart his career? Dude, a viral video of you cleaning your glasses would've been more appealing.

Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart

Aaaaanddd guest star Kari Ann Peniche, who you might remember from Miss USA and 'Celebrity Rehab.' (Pause for sad trombone.) This, however, can't quite be defined as a sex tape (as there wasn't any sex), but since it features McSteamy nakedly cavorting around with his wife and another chick, we'll count it.

Rapper Eve and Stevie J

Was she rocking paw-prints anywhere else on her body? (No, we're seriously asking, since we couldn't bear to watch it.) On the other hand, if your boyfriend's name is Stevie J, you should kind of know he is going to put a sex tape out the second your relationship is over.

J.Lo and ex-husband Ojani Noa

Jenny from the block walked to the court to make sure her tape with her ex-husband wasn't leaked onto the Internet. In 2011, her request was granted, but our wishes weren't. Who else isn't just a little bit curious?

Rob Lowe and Multiple Unidentified Women

Before he was the Sam Seaborn, he had a White House-worthy scandal of his own while getting buckwild on multiple occasions with more than one girl. Only one problem: One of the tapes featured an underage girl. Oh, the '80s.

Kid Rock and Multiple Unidentified Women

Although this one was halted before it could hit our screens, it reportedly features him and a pal having their way with not one, not two, not three, but four groupies. Leave it to Kid Rock to make Pam Anderson look like Jackie Onassis.

Verne Troyer and Ranae Shrider

MINI-ME HAS A SEX TAPE. How bad is it that I read that and just picturing him going "EEEEEEEEEEEEEE" for like.... an hour.

Fred Durst and Unidentified Woman

The musician's tape was stolen off his desk by a repair man. And by repair man, we mean Eminem dressed like a repair man.