Welcome to the 100th episode of Burn Notice! Michael Westen and company have passed the magical threshold for syndication, which hopefully means that you and I will be watching reruns of their adventures in perpetuity on whatever alien basic-cable channels will be beamed into our space nursing homes.
Racked with guilt over possibly blowing Mike's cover to Ambiguously Foreign Mystery Man, Madeline Westen decides to personally storm the FBI's offices, because she is Madeline, and that is exactly what Madeline would do. But the prodigal son himself—who, I'm delighted to tell you, is still sad-bearded—stops Mom and chews her out. I love—like, am actually romantically in love with—Jeffrey Donovan, but his go-to intense, moody stare this season is starting to look like he's comatose.
Though CIA handler Andrew Strong insists that Mike refrain from contacting his friends, part of his current operation involves constantly surveilling them—including Fiona, as she gets cozy with her new man (creepy? hot? maybe both?).
With yet another intense and/or comatose stare on his face, Mike's mind wanders back to the pub in Dublin where the couple first met in 2001. Fiona's brogue—which we've rarely heard since the pilot episode—makes a welcome return. Plus, this Fi's got bangs. Ooh, girl. As a card-carrying member of the fivehead club myself, let me say that this look is working for you. We spot Mike, wearing a glorious turtleneck fisherman's sweater and eying her from the bar.
The two do a lot of making out in the rain to what sounds like the Once soundtrack. Throughout the episode, we weave back and forth between the lovey-dovey past and the stressful, sweaty present.
Back in Miami, Mike covertly steps in to save his friends in a firefight with bad guys. The gang employs a hacker to track down Ambiguously Foreign Mystery Man from his phone records, but Fiona gets abducted by AFMM himself when they go to confront him. (Ambiguously Foreign Mystery Man's name is actually revealed in this episode, but I'm not ready to give up calling him Ambiguously Foreign Mystery Man just yet. Give me time.)
When he realizes that Strong plans to use hostage Fiona as bait, Mike disappears into thin air—who'd y'all think you were dealing with? #GoneRogue. After a quick reunion with Sam and Jesse, Mike heads off to rescue Fi himself.
In a memory from Dublin, past-Fiona recounts something her father used to say to her when she was a girl: "Time to be brave, little angel," code for "Get down on the floor, close your eyes and start praying till it's over."
Via AFMM's cell phone, Mike relays this same message to captive Fi. She ducks just in time to avoid a hail of CIA gunfire. OK, maybe I cried a little bit, don't worry about it.
But when she leaves the warehouse, it's not our hero she embraces, but her boyfriend. Ugh. Feelings.
Image via Burn Notice Wiki