I firmly believe that there’s a baked good for every situation — even dire ones. Happily, it seems there’s also a bakery out there that shares my beliefs. It’s called The Bold Bakery, and, well… let’s just say that its offerings probably aren’t the sort you’d want to bring to Sunday dinner at Grandma’s (unless you have a really hip grandma). They might look all sweet at first glance, but they’re not. They’re really, really not. They are, however, absolutely hilarious, so get ready to laugh your dirty little head off.
The brainchild of Grand Rapids, Michigan-based graphic designer Sarah Brockett, The Bold Bakery is a branding concept for a bakery with an edge. Its description lists it as “the perfect place to have a pie created for your cheating husband, or your bratty pre-teen daughter” — and even if you don’t have anyone on your shit list, that’s OK, too. The description goes on to say, “Plenty of our customers partake in ‘cake wars,’ where they gift their friends with raunchy baked goods for no reason at all.” Personally, I can’t think of anything funnier than opening up a gorgeous bakery box and finding a beautifully frosted cake with “GO AWAY” emblazoned on it in looping, elegant cursive. Seriously, you guys. If you ever want to know the way to my heart… that’s it right there.
Some of the treats are a little less profanity-laden than others; they do, however, all express the perfect negative sentiment all wrapped up in a sweet little package. Beyond the “Leave me the hell alone” cake seen above, there’s the “Good gravy, please stop gloating in everyone’s face” cookie cake:
The “I know what you were really doing last night” chocolate chiffon pie:
And, of course, this one, which — let’s face it — needs no introduction:
Not going to lie: I’d love to see the following options emerge from the deep, dark, buttery depths of The Bold Bakery. Anyone else?
- “I hate you” pie
- “You suck” sugar cookies
- “Hag” cupcakes (bonus points if they’re Halloween-themed)
- And a giant, multi-tiered cake that just says, “NO.” Grumpy Cat will love it.
In the meantime, though, you can check out the full project over at Brockett’s website and on her Behance page. Be warned: The language gets a little strong, so consider it NSFW.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some “Bite me” brownies to make.
Images: Sarah Brockett/Behance (4)
