This Is Exactly What It's Like To Be Stoned At The Grocery Store (I Mean, We Assume. We Totally Wouldn't Know.) – VIDEO
This BuzzFeed video chronicling what it's like to be totally stoned while at the grocery store has made my morning. It's the little things, you know, like pot-based humor, that bring me my daily doses of totally immature joy. I am unashamed by this and have many esteemed men in my movie collection (Cheech, Chong, Harold, Kumar) to prove it. It's easy to fall into a video-watching black hole. I've lost entire years of my life watching people reflect on foods from different countries and re-enacting awkward dating moments. But I am especially digging this foray into long-form goofiness.
That's right: I've decided to get critical of BuzzFeed's dramatic endeavors. Good Lord. Please understand that I'm doing so with the understanding that this is a mildly ridiculous thing to do. But, as I said, I refuse to feel shame about this. My general lack of shame has now been fully covered and will not be addressed again, I promise. So, give me something funny and smart to watch and verily, shall I reflect upon its worthiness as media to be consumed. This is one absolutely worth watching, so good job, team BuzzFeed. High fives all around.
The video, like all the best things, is amusing because it's true; Being stoned and doing things is challenging. By "doing things" I mean stuff like "talking" or "moving around" or "what the hell am I supposed to be doing with my hands right now everyone is looking at my hands". Actual tasks? Like going grocery shopping? That becomes a straight-up epic quest. I mean...I theorize that this is the case. Having never partaken of any illegal substances myself. Nope, not me. Nothing to see here! *Quietly begins whistling in such a manner as to properly convey innocence and law-abiding nature*. STOP JUDGING ME AND JUST WATCH THE VIDEO, OKAY NERDS? While you do that I am going to the grocery store where I will accidentally wind up buying everything other than eggs.