I cannot be the only one who realizes that most celebrities absolutely resemble animals. I am not saying this in a negative or shaming way. I am saying that if you look hard enough at a celeb's face, you will eventually see their inner animal and it is the greatest. Admittedly, this is something I known for doing. If I'm on a date and it's not going well, I shall stare at the dude in question until his inner animal names itself. Most recently the answer to this query was "a naked mole rat". There was no second date, nor should there have been. This skill is both a blessing and curse, but I am prepared to use it in service to the public.
In order to actually look like an animal, a person (celebrity or otherwise) has to share other characteristics with the beastie in question. It's all well and good for people to make terrible Julia-Roberts-Looks-Like-A-Horse jokes (actually, no, it's not, it's mean) but if you really stare at Julia Roberts, it becomes clear that she looks like less of a horse and more closely resembles an affable duck, the sort you might find sunning itself and quacking quietly on the outskirts of a pond. "Oh duck," you might say, "you've got it allllllll figured out." Then you would try to pay the duck for companionship because, Pretty Woman.
Here are 9 celebrities who look like animals!
1. Keith Richards
...looks like this English Sheepdog:
It's the salt and pepper coloring, the shaggy laissez-faire attitude towards grooming, the twinkle in the eyes (when visible), not to mention the fact that both represent England as we know it, albeit it in very different ways.
2. Christy Turlington
...looks like this falcon:
I am 90% sure that if you put a hood over Christy Turlington's head (which you should, by no means, do), she would squawk and demand freshly-killed treats while digging her talons into your arm. Because she is a hawk. Smart, watchful, and spirited – do not play around with falcons or Turlington. Ed Burns know.
3. Debra Messing
...looks like this red panda:
What's the lurking in the underbrush? Why, it's a panda! It's here to live its life and hopefully make you smile along the way. It's sorry for that time it was in Smash, and it's sorry that you came all the way over to its cage thinking it was a REAL panda, but most of all it is sorry that it thought The Mysteries of Laura was a good idea. Cheeky thing.
4. Jennifer Lawrence
Imagine if a kitten put on some heels and lipstick and tried to go to a party. What would happen? It would fall over and everyone would be all "LOL, oh my god, that lipsticked kitten in high heels just feel over," and then it would become a meme. I rest my case.
5. Benedict Cumberbatch
...looks like this meerkat:
Lanky, goofy, and elegant all at once, BCum (heh) is definitely this meerkat. He might not be traditionally "cute", but for whatever reason, when he's on two legs, you can't look away. Side note: Someone somewhere should dress a meerkat in a tuxedo.
...looks like this penguin:
Penguins may be dressed formally at all times, but that doesn't necessarily mean they won't make you chortle with their outlandish shenanigans. You can't take the waddle out the penguin, just like you can't take the Jersey out of the girl. And why would you want to do that anyway? Both are perfect just as they are.
7. Tom Hardy
...looks like this lion:
I like to think that in some parallel alternative reality, the jungles run rampant with herds of naked Tom Hardys, all of them just running around, eating things, wrestling, swimming, sneering, and nuzzling. This makes me infinitely happy.
8. Lena Dunham
...looks like this pony:
Plucky, spirited and petite, Lena Dunham is naturally adorable (like all ponies) and someone you want to immediately befriend and give lumps of sugar to. She's sporty.
...looks like this seal:
Everyone knows that Seal looks like a seal! Both are wise and glamorous. One had a marriage to Heidi Klum. For the sake of not hurting the other's feelings, I'll leave guessing WHICH seal that was up to you! I'd like to state for the record that I would date/marry EITHER seal and be quite happy
10. Eric Stoltz
...looks like this fox:
Almost as illusive as the animal with whom he shares such obvious characteristics, I would not be surprised to learn that Stoltz is a werefox who only turns into a man briefly to date Laura Linney for a period of time or perhaps to play a mime in an early Cameron Crowe joint. To my knowledge, the English do not hunt him for sport, and more's the pity really.
11. John Malkovich
...looks like this cat:
These are actually just two photos of John Malkovich. The light is just doing really, really weird things to him in the top one. (LOL, the joke is that the top one is the real photo of him.) Did you know that hairless cats need regular baths? Because they still produce mad oils? Like, if you don't bathe them often enough, they will leave greasy marks on sofas and things. That said, they are also eerie and majestic, just like Malkovich, who I presume, bathes himself with some regularity.
Images: Getty Images(22)