Hold the phone, you guys: There’s a new seasonal holiday beverage in town, and I have a feeling it’s about to break the Internet. The Starbucks Chestnut Praline Latte will debut in ‘Bux stores nationwide on November 12 — the first new holiday drink the coffee chain has brought to market in five years. Are you all aquiver with anticipation yet? No? That’s OK; I’m sure everyone else will be more than excited enough to fill the “OMG!!!!” quota.
Starbucks Melody reports that the Chestnut Praline Latte was tested alongside the Cherries Jubilee Mocha during the 2013 holiday season; although the Cherries Jubilee Mocha failed to make it past the test phase, the Chestnut Praline Latte was apparently successful enough to warrant a full-scale roll-out. According to the NY Daily News, the drink is “inspired by the holiday tradition of warm roasted chestnuts” and consists of “espresso combined with steamed milk and flavors of caramelized chestnuts and spices.” It’s topped with whipped cream and “spiced praline crumbs,” whatever those are.
Here’s the thing: I actually have no idea what a chestnut tastes like, roasted or otherwise. Somehow, in spite of the fact that both Starbucks and classic holiday music insist upon the “traditional” nature of roasting chestnuts during the colder months, I have never once had the opportunity to partake in this pastime. As such, I can only make the roughest of estimations as to what the drink itself will taste like. Here are my best guesses, although I anticipate them all being horribly, spectacularly wrong. Anyone else have any suggestions? Or better yet, did anyone actually manage to order one during the testing period last year? What did it taste like? Inquiring minds want to know!
Because all Starbucks specialty drinks taste like sugar.
2. Burnt Sugar
If the inspiration for the drink is something that’s been roasting over an open flame for a while, though, maybe it won’t just taste like sugar. Maybe it’ll taste like burnt sugar.
3. Those “Nuts for Nuts” Carts That Line the Streets of New York
More specifically, I feel like the Chestnut Praline Latte will taste the way those carts smell when you walk by them.
4. Cookie Butter
For reasons I can’t explain, part of me thinks this latte is the drinkable version of Cookie Butter (or Speculoos spread, if you prefer). If it’s not, then someone really needs to get on the whole Cookie Butter Latte idea, STAT.
5. Candied Peanuts
Specifically the little red ones.
6. Nutella Minus the Chocolate
I know, I know: Hazelnuts are not chestnuts. But my frame of reference is limited, so work with me here.
7. Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice
Or wait — is that what little girls are supposed to be made of? Never mind; that sounds gross. Sorry. My bad.
What? “Crunchy” is totally a flavor.
9. “Teddy Grahams in a Cup”
Maybe my Cookie Butter idea wasn’t too far off the mark?