21 Things Every Grown-Ass Man Does In A Relationship
1. Puts his clothes neatly in a little stack somewhere discreet when he stays over at your house, instead of spreading his crap out everywhere, or taking up your desk chair.
2. Stays on his best behavior around your parents (particularly your mother), and even goes so far as to remember details, like your dad's birthday or your mom's favorite flower.
3. Validates your dreams and desires, but pushes you to realize them by posing constructive criticism or asking tough questions about logistics. He's not going to sit back and watch you "dream" your life away – he'll actually do what he can so that you can achieve the things you set out to do.
4. Gives you thoughtful, honest, and kind opinions when you ask what he thinks about your clothes or hairstyle.
5. Acknowledges when another man is handsome, stylish, or put-together, without having to make some sad little disclaimer about how he's "not gay."
6. Makes you coffee on Sunday morning. Preferably in his underwear.
7. Lets you know what he wants, instead of waffling around about it so you have to guess why he's unhappy/not participating. (If he wants time alone one night, he'll just say, "Hey, I want to stay in and play video games by myself tonight – is that alright?" And you will say yes, because you are a decent person.)
8. Hangs out with your friends, and makes the best of his time with them, even if they're not his best friends.
9. Is capable of coming up with ideas for fun and interesting things to do, making plans, and even executing them.
10. Agrees to watch movies he's not that interested in sometimes just because you really, really want to see them (and doesn't spend the whole time making fun of them, and you for enjoying them.)
11. Is fundamentally himself around you, even if he's more polite, clean, and organized than usual. He doesn't have to turn on an entirely different personality to impress you, or go out of his way to do things in the beginning of the relationship that he'll drop completely six months in.
12. Never makes you feel insecure about the things you may have "fucked up" on....he processes it in a mature way and moves forward with how he feels and/or how you can fix it or at least smooth it over. He never wastes time verbally beating you down to make sure you understand how you fucked up. You really feel like he's on your side.
13. Owns shoe trees.
14. Rubs your back when you've had a long day, without having to be asked. (And kisses your neck while he does it if he's looking to get fRiSkY.)
15. Calls friends and family on their birthdays, rather than texting or sending a Facebook message.
16. Allows you to be all of your different selves around him without ever feeling judged. He's there for the thoughtful conversations about politics, the articles you've shared and discussed, and he can dive deep into topics you're interested in and the hobbies you enjoy...but he's also there for the raging, drunk & cigarette smoking you, with whom he stumbles home and laughs about it all with the next morning. He isn't judgmental or threatened about any of what you've shown to him.
17. Keeps your secrets, under all circumstances.
18. Is present emotionally, and doesn't withhold emotions or honesty from you in an effort to be "manly."
19. Never gaslights you. When you are feeling genuinely upset, he will ask you to explain yourself and talk it out with you, instead of immediately painting you as crazy for feeling these things.
20. Kisses your forehead, and the tip of your nose.
21. Pays his bills on time, and plans for the future, both financially and emotionally. But regardless of his relationship status, he prepares for the unknown and maintains a flossy credit score, because that's just what grown men do.