An Official Ranking of Every Boyfriend Rachel Had on 'Friends'

Chip was Rachel’s high school boyfriend, and while we don’t really see much of Chip, he does go on an ill-fated dated with Monica. Chip is the classic cool guy who peaked in high school, and still works at the same part-time job he did senior year. His arrested development might not make him the worst if he didn’t also have sex with someone else while acting as Rachel’s date at the prom. He only ranks above Barry because at least Rachel didn’t plan on marrying this guy.

Nope, not Ross. Russ. Totally different. He was a doctor of gums and essentially all of the terrible things about Ross rolled into one leather-wearing jerk. At least Russ made Rachel see that she wasn’t quite over the real thing.

Danny moved into Rachel’s apartment with a mountain man beard, which made Rachel mistake him for a yeti. After that whole misunderstanding they went on several dates, only for Rachel to realize that Danny has a very weird, waaaay too close relationship with his sister. Danny was nice enough and I’m sure that the relationship with his sister wasn’t THAT weird at the end of the day, but girl could do better.

You may be surprised to see Paolo ranked so highly on this list, especially considering the fact that he attempted to cheat on Rachel with her friend Phoebe. But I think that Paolo was actually sort of good for Rachel. She wasn’t ready to jump into a relationship with Ross immediately post-Barry and needed some fun with a sexy foreign stranger. It ended badly, but at least Rachel got her groove back in the meantime.

As terrible as I feel putting Joey this far down on the list, I loathed the short-lived relationship between Rachel and Joey, mainly because it dared to question the validity of their friendship. Joey would be a fantastic boyfriend to many women (remember Kate? I still ship Joey and Kate) but his brief obsession with Rachel was too much. Audiences everywhere cheered when Joey and Rachel realized that sex would be way too awkward. Friends first with these two, forever.

Poor Tag. He was just too young for Rachel. Tag was adorable and very, very sweet, but his age really showed when he bought Rachel a scooter for her birthday. ALWAYS STICK TO THE LIST, TAG.

Paul was Ross’ girlfriend’s dad, which made the fact that Rachel was dating him insanely weird. He had a plethora of emotional scars from childhood hidden underneath his stoic surface, and let the floodgates open all at once, effectively turning him into a blubbering mess. Paul was a real man (and a doctor, which Rachel obviously adored) but using Rachel as a therapist didn’t make for the healthiest relationship.

Joshua was the definition of a rebound, so it’s not surprising that this whole thing didn’t work out. Joshua was the first real guy that Rachel went out with somewhat seriously after the whole “Ross” thing went down, and while he was her fascination for a few weeks, it quickly became clear that she was in the relationship for not the greatest reasons. Joshua walked when Rachel asked him to marry her to one-up Ross and Emily, which was very understandable. It’s unfortunate that she couldn’t make something work with such a reasonable guy.

In another world, Mark and Rachel might be good for one another. They both work in fashion and get along swimmingly. Sure, it wasn’t particularly cool for Mark to jump on Rachel minutes after her breakup with Ross (especially since Ross’ paranoia over Mark is what kiiiinda caused the whole thing to go down) but it’s hard to hate on Mark. He proves himself as a nice guy when, years later, he helps Rachel land a job in Paris — no pretense whatsoever.

I loved Gavin for Rachel. Yes, he was kind of arrogant, and yes, he did try to take Rachel’s job, but he also kept her on her toes and genuinely supported her at a critical time. He took care of Emma so Rachel could go to a meeting, gave her a scarf for her birthday, and brought her chicken soup when she faked sick to avoid him. Plus, they had awesome chemistry. In another life, this could have totally been a real thing.

How could Ross not make it to the top of this list? Their romance may have been 10 years (and several breakups) in the making, and they may have done the whole dating order wrong, but at the end of the day, the only person for Rachel was Ross — and vice versa.