One Direction Will Be Making Midnight Memories

One Direction continued on their quest to drive masses of teenage girls into breaking the Internet and/or sound barrier with their shrill screams — this morning, the boy band announced their new album Midnight Memories in the most millennial Gen Y kid way possible: An Instagram video post.

Now, I'm not going to pretend I know what it is about these kids that makes it so even their perfume (which probably just has their faces slapped on them, nothing more) earns them half a million dollars in a week. The Instagram post announcing their new album got 137,000 likes in just two hours, and its growing by the minute.

All I can think of right now is this One Direction documentary I watched on UK's Channel 4 network Crazy About One Direction in which a 17-year-old girl admitted, out loud in front of cameras, that she had braces not because she needed them (she didn't), but because Niall had them, and she wanted to make a fashion statement. I hate everything about this.

Anyway, I should probably get to the point of this post about now: According to the Instagram video, the album's gonna be called Midnight Memories. It'll probably have a lot of tracks about the boys falling in love with beautiful girls who don't own mirrors, and having perfect dates with her at midnight that make memories I DON'T EVEN KNOW. These five kids have toothbrushes with their faces on them.

[Video via onedirection/Instagram]