"Heterosexuals Inspiring Pride" Facebook Page Might Be Most Absurd Thing You've Seen All Week

There are a lot of silly Facebook pages in the world wide web — the "Guy who discovered milk" page, the "I hate it when I'm making a milkshake and boys just show up in my yard" page, the page of a religion that worships Nicholas Cage. But of all the wacky stuff out there, the most mock-worthy might just be the Heterosexual Pride Facebook page. Yes, there is a Facebook group dedicated to promoting heterosexual pride, because apparently The Bachelor wasn't doing the job well enough.

The Heterosexuals Inspiring Pride page explains that the person or people behind it are "not really concerned with how you live your life (just disagreeing on some topics)." And yet, despite their tolerance, they apparently became alarmed when "more and more 'hate' posts started flooding facebook [sic] about how religious people and anyone else that disagrees with the choices of some are bigots and homophobes."

Ah, yes. With all this hate being flung around, what's a straight person to do? After all, how are straight people supposed to know that it's OK for them to feel good about their heterosexuality? They might have to start watching virtually every romantic comedy ever made.

Or they could check out the Heterosexual Pride page, "support male and female unions, the way it is designed" and "inspire pride" among us poor, lowly folks who are doomed to be forever ostracized for being sexually attracted only to members of the opposite sex. Such is the cross we bear.

For all their talk about not hating LGBT people, the page comes across mainly as the unfocused, indiscriminate outrage about anything related to LGBT people. Most of their posts consist of fear-mongering articles about the persecution of Christians and the slippery slope to incest that we are all apparently hurtling down at breakneck pace. And then there are the memes.

It all just screams viral potential, huh?

As might be predictable from a site that thinks straight people need help feeling OK with our sexuality, the whole page is laughably out of touch. And, naturally, homophobic.

Not to mention ridiculous. The fact that LGBT people are increasingly being recognized by and accepted into the mainstream, and the fact that our society is becoming less and less heteronormative is not at all the same thing as shaming straight people. Really, it just means that being straight is no longer considered a default or a superior option. Its everybody is equal, and by extension, everybody is right.

The truth is that, although we have a long way go for LGBT acceptance, we've already made huge progress in the past decade or so. And while that may freak some people out, it also means that their reactionary ways are more to be pitied than to be railed against. And their futile quest to be good at all this Internet stuff is just hilarious.

So if there's any site on the Internet you should feel totally OK with mocking, it's probably the Heterosexual Pride Facebook page.

I mean, they seem to think that a grey rainbow is appealing.

And yes, this one throws a shout out to "Hetero Awareness Month," surprising all of us who didn't realize it wasn't a year-round thing.

And then the metaphors that don't even make sense.

All in all, it's just too ridiculous not to be funny.

If these are the people leading the fight against LGBT acceptance, I think the future looks pretty bright.

Images: Heterosexuals Inspiring Pride/Facebook