Vino lovers, rejoice! Someone has finally gotten around to inventing Wine Wipes, which get rid of purple teeth, aka the only bad thing about drinking red wine. Now you can drink your sorrows away before going out in public with no one the wiser! (Actually wait, don't do that. Maybe just stick to one glass — it's actually good for you.)Anyway. We can all agree wine mouth is super annoying, right? Whether you call it Malbec mouth, tannin' teeth, or my personal favorite, the red badge of courage, we've all been there. You're meeting a friend out for drinks, exhausted after a long day of work/doing nothing, and you decide to break out the red wine. Suddenly, it's three quarters of a bottle later and you head to the bathroom, because no bladder is meant to hold that much liquid at once. Everything is fine and dandy... until you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, and you're horrified to see that it's happened. Your mouth is more purple than Lorde at her goth-iest. Your teeth are stained red, but not in a cool "with the blood of your enemies" way. Even your tongue is weirdly colored. You're forced to flee, possibly abandoning your friend without a word, before anyone cute sees the damage.
If this sounds familiar, we should be friends. Also, you're probably just as excited as I am about Wine Wipes, which claim to completely erase the evidence of red wine. The wipes come in an orange blossom flavor to keep from interfering with the taste of the drink, and there's even a handy little mirror in the compact with the wipes. A writer at xoJane bravely tried the product for the rest of us, and apparently it actually does work. Hooray!It's the perfect gift for that one relative who always shows up to family gatherings with a wine bottle firmly in hand, or for your old roommate who always had a suspicious purple mouth stain. Bam, Christmas shopping done. Luckily, I happen to have the perfect Zinfandel to celebrate with.
P.S. I've been waiting for months to use that gif. Day. Made.Images: Giphy (2)