Back in high school, I used take everything really, really personally. My parents, who still had paranoid holdovers from their USSR days, raised me to question everything and everyone and to stay “vigilant.” So I took these pearls maybe a little too seriously. I senselessly worried about friends not actually liking me, or talking shit behind my back (but let’s face it, it was high school. Talking shit was basically our collective major and only real talent), and if someone said anything slightly snotty, my world as I knew it shattered into a million irreconcilable pieces.
I grew out of it, like most teenagers grow out of their awful, capricious teenage ways, but I still overthink things on the regular because why not? Like, if you go from sending me e-mails with hearts and smiley faces to sending me e-mails with proper punctuation, I’m going to think you might slightly hate me. That’s where my brain just goes, even though it’s mostly insane to think like that. But I can’t help it! I’m just kinda ~*~SeNsiTiVe~*~, okay? And if you feel my struggles or have a friend who is majorly on the sensitive side, then you know doing these things to a sensitive friend will basically guarantee paranoid heart-breakage:
1. When they take pictures with friends on Insta without you
Your friends are allowed to have other friends. You know this. But a part of you can’t help but feel insta-jealous when you see them having fun without you and documenting it for the world to see. Ugh, monsters.
2. When they tell you to “calm down.”
Do not tell a sensitive person how to curate their feelings. Trying to police someone's feelings rarely comes to any good, a fact even more true about especially sensitive people. They have a lot of them and they can do whatever they want with them, including bursting with excitement or sorrow. When you say “calm down,” you’re basically devaluing their extreme emotions, and that’s not okay (or maybe you just care for their wellbeing and want them to chill for their own sake, but whatever.)
3. When they respond with a simple “hi” instead of the jovial “hey!”
“Hi” and “Hey!” can have very different connotations. "Hi" is abrupt and slightly cold, like even acknowledging you is a tremendous bother and waste of time. "Hey!" is like a hug via words. There is a difference. At least, to you there is.
4. When they subtweet you. Or really, when they subtweet anyone and don't specifically tell you it isn't about you.
Subtweeting is the worst, because why can’t we just call each other out IRL or at least use names so we don’t have to sit here having a panic attack about why our friends would possibly want to call us out on the Internet. Oh Twitter, you enabler for cattiness, you.
5. When they doesn't return your calls or texts within a half hour
We sensitives are keeping track of time, just know this. From the moment we hit "send" we are shooting hateful glances at our phones until you respond. If it’s been too long, we will assume you hate our guts.
6. When they don't answer you on Gchat
Okay friends, we KNOW you’re online. Gmail says so. You can’t pretend you’re not. I mean, the green light does NOT lie (unless you're like in the bathroom or something, in which case, we forgive you for making us worry.) Please don’t make us obsess over the status of our friendship over Gchat.
7. When choose their significant other over you, even if it’s just for a night
We know boyfriends and girlfriends are important. Because love is important and whatever. We understand, but we also don’t understand, because you could be hanging out with us instead. And we're probably way more awesome. Unless we're not (and if not, then why? Haven't we been a good friend? What is going on? Tell me.)
8. When they get caught blowing you off on social media
So your friend told you she had to go shopping with her mom because it’s her dad’s birthday or some buuuullllshit. You didn't really believe her anyway, but then she went and updated her status with something incriminating, like "GeTtInG WeIrD!" or "TGIF...we needed this drink ;) ;) ;)" There is no greater social betrayal, especially to someone who is really sensitive.
9. When they just leave you to “do your own thing” at parties
You might as well abandon your friend in the Nevada desert with half a Capri Sun and never look back.
10. When they call you “bitch” or “fatass” jokingly
We totally get that you’re being ironic when you use demeaning words. We don't ACTUALLY think you think we're bitches or fat or whatever – unless you do actually think those things and you're just projecting those real thoughts and presenting them as jokes. Annnnd over-analysis: commence.
11. When they invite you by saying, "Oh yeah, you can come with if you want."
"Or you could like, not come with because you are really an afterthought," is what sensitive people will always automatically translate that sentence into. Because no matter how many times we tell ourselves, "you're just being too sensitive," or how many times we hear people tell us the same thing, we'll never not be super sensitive (and honestly, we're kinda okay with that.)
Image: Getty Images; Giphy(5)