Jon Stewart's Epic Midterms Segment Lays Into Obama, Mitch McConnell, And Just About Everybody Else

Tuesday night's midterms resulted in a wave election that saw the Republican party gaining control of the Senate, making both houses of Congress GOP-controlled. While pundits everywhere predict and project what a Republican stronghold in Congress will mean for our Democratic incumbent president's last two terms, The Daily Show's Jon Stewart shared his thoughts on the midterm elections, reflecting less-than-enthusiastic feelings about each side's promise to work together. Plus, he revealed some never-before-seen evidence of new Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell's provenance.

Stewart opens the segment with a blunt rehashing of what happened in the midterms, analogizing it with one of the most traumatizing endings in cinema history.

Tuesday night, the Democrats got taken out back and Old Yellered by the American electorate.

The midterms were a major "repudiation" of President Obama, whom Stewart imagines spent election night in his sweats drowning his sorrows in Pint Force One ice cream. But why exactly did Obama's party lose? Stewart shows a clip of Obama addressing the loss.

I'm a single mom and at the end of the month it's really hard for me to pay the bills.

Stewart looks confused for a second, and then as if we all learned a very valuable lesson, he explains, "Actually, that trick was brought to you by... context. Look at how silly the world would be without context."

For example? Well, the way the press has been reporting the Democratic loss in Congress has been an exercise in hyperbole, according to Stewart. He gives some examples:

The Democratic party in shambles, a lot of soul-searching, stages of grief ... why are those phrases so familiar?

As it turns out, the same phrases had been used to describe the Republican Party when they lost the Senate in 2012.

It's as though every event that happens is viewed by our media singularly, as though it didn't exist in any previous ... oh Christ, what's the word we're looking for .. oh, right — [looks into the camera] — context.

Then Stewart shows two segments, one with new Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and one with President Obama, both of whom are vowing to try and work together to come to agreements and be productive. Stewart calls the shared sentiment between the two "inspiring."

Two long-term rivals come together after an election and unite around a shared message of disingenuous horsesh*t.

Stewart then shows a segment from last year of Obama throwing major shade at McConnell, illustrating what the dynamic between the president and the then-minority leader was like back then.

Some folks still don't think I spend enough time with Congress. "Why don't you get a drink with Mitch McConnell?" they ask. Really? Why don't you get a drink with Mitch McConnell?

"Boom! Drop the mic!" Stewart cheers.

But that was then. Stewart shows another clip from after this year's midterm elections in which Obama is asked "Are you going to have that drink with Mitch McConnell now?" Obama, looking dejected, answers, "You know, actually, uh, I would enjoy having some Kentucky bourbon with Mitch McConnell." If you could bottle the sad in Obama's voice right there, you'd have a pretty powerful biochemical weapon right there.

Stewart is incredulous at Obama's concession.

First of all, no you wouldn't. Second of all, we all know Senator McConnell isn't a bourbon fan. His preferred drink is an algae and pond water cocktail.

Stewart then addresses the controversy over his show's likening of the Senate majority leader to a "slow-talking tortoise man." Stewart just wants to go on record to confirm that that's not what he's doing. What he is doing is asserting that McConnell is, literally and biologically, a tortoise.

Specifically a 180-year-old living, breathing, giant tortoise of the species Aldabrachelys gigantia, who has, despite not being indigenous to North America, somehow ascended to a prominent leadership role in the United States Senate.

Stewart goes back to the point that, maybe, after seeing both Obama and McConnell promising to work together, there can be an actual truce between the two parties. But then he shows more news clips suggesting otherwise. Everything from Obamacare to immigration reform is emphasized as major sticking points for both parties that will likely cause more gridlock and tension between the president and Congress.

Stewart points to what McConnell said the previous day to drive home the message that this partnership was doomed from the start.

There's not a personality problem here or anything like that. I think my attitude about all this at this point is trust but verify.

Stewart repeats, "Trust but verify? Where have I heard that before?" and shows a clip of Ronald Reagan using the same phrase in regards to Russia.

There you have it! The highwater mark of our new era of bipartisanship is the Senate Majority Leader implying he is to Obama as Reagan was to the leader of our totalitarian, nuclear-armed nemesis, aka the Evil Empire.

In closing out the segment, Stewart comments on these revelations:

Well my feeling of despair is brought to me by ... historical context. It's why old people are sad.

Here's to drowning our sorrows in Pint Force One for the next two years.Watch the entire video below.

Images: The Daily Show