'National Treasure's Real National Treasures Weren't the U.S. Constitution Or Nicolas Cage

November 19 marks the tenth anniversary of a true classic of American absurdity: The Nicolas Cage vehicle National Treasure hit theaters a decade ago today. Directed by Jon Turteltaub, it took on its own kind of iconicity as Cage became canonized in American film history as...well, as Nic Cage. One thing about the film has always been clear: The real national treasure is not the one they spend the entire film searching for.

National Treasure follows Cage's eccentric historian/"amateur cryptologist" as he drags sidekick Justin Bartha, National Archives worker Dr. Diane Kruger), and father Jon Voigt on a quest to steal the Declaration of Independence and translate whatever treasure map the Founding Fathers left on it. To Cage, the Declaration of Independence is definitely the national treasure in question, perhaps with Kruger's character trailing along behind. To the rest of us, though? There are plenty of other national treasures in this film, and the Declaration of Independence is nowhere on the list.

Here are the real national treasures of National Treasure.

Justin Bartha as Riley Poole

Can you imagine this movie without a person with a sense of humor tagging along for the ride? No, you cannot. That would be far too much Nic Cage.

Far too much.

That Woman Who Helped Diane Kruger Hide From Her "Scummy Ex"

All hail this woman, for she gets it. Ladies gotta look out for each other.

The Scrolls From Library of Alexandria

Did anyone else get weirdly teared-up when Diane Kruger discovered all those scrolls that had been thought to have been lost in the fire of the Library of Alexandria? All that knowledge, lost! All that knowledge, found!

Sean Bean Lives

A true miracle, given his track record.

"I'm gonna steal the Declaration Of Independence"

That one line. So quotable. So abusable. Almost iconic, that line. Say it whenever you have an overwrought, horrible idea.

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