It's Leo's Birthday. That's right, the man, the myth, the legend, he of the lion eyes, is 40-years-old. Let us all pause to acknowledge just how old that all makes us feel and then bolster each other's spirits by repeatedly fear-screaming "40 IS THE NEW 20" over and over again until it becomes true. I don't know how Leo is spending his 40th birthday, but I can speculate that it involves an environmentally-friendly yacht and a bevy of well-oiled supermodels. Maybe also there is a chocolate fountain. And Robyn is there, singing a medley of her greatest works. There is also as much pizza as a person could eat and clove cigarettes that make you look younger somehow. This has now devolved into how I would like my 40th birthday to unfold.
What better way to honor him than with GIFs? Sure, there have been some moments in Leo's life that weren't captured in GIF form, but for the most part, they are things we would probably not want to see anyway: the second he crowned as a newly spawned infant, the time Alan Thicke was in a bad mood on the set of Growing Pains, etc. Of course there are so moments I wish were captured in GIF form – uhh, him laughing up a storm at Orlando Bloom and Bieber's bitch fight? – but I understand that there are some things on this planet too beautiful to ever be captured for the human eye. But rest assured, there are more than enough Leo GIFs to make up for this one not existing. Here, in celebration of his forty years on this planet, are 40 times when Leonardo DiCaprio was perfect.
When he made having a face composed entirely of rubber seem cool.
When he made drowning on the Titantic seem like not such a bad way to go.
When he didn't understand how ice works.
When he did his best impression of the dramatic prairie dog.
When he made us rethink the whole "quitting smoking" thing.
When he out-cry-faced Claire Danes. Claire Danes, y'all.
When he made nearly getting his ass kicked look cute.
When he rocked a gold chain and old man attitude.
When he whimsically ran through a field of flowers.
When he gave zero fucks.
When he made blonde tips cool.
When he rocked some Colonel Sanders-style swagger.
When he looked like my great-uncle's bulldog.
When he made us honestly believe that Daisy Buchanan was worth it.
When he was King of the World.
When he out Home Alone-ed, Home Alone.
When he hung out with a monkey.
When he skeeved out Cate Blanchett.
When he was all "deal with it" but in reverse which is still excellently sassy.
When he was incepted.
He made Shakespeare a John Woo-style epic (minus the doves).
When he revealed his passion for cookies.
When he drove Lindsay Lohan quietly mad.
When you realized he was the jerk in your middle school but you still wanted to do him.
When he taught us the importance of good hygiene.
When he made fish hella romantic.
When he bonded with McConnaughey.
When he never let us see his Oscars tears.
When he promoted ice baths for facial health.
When he knew the untold secrets of Johnny Depp's eternal youth.
When he made being phony look good.
When he revealed the secret shame of a regretful hair choice.
He broke out these baller moves.
When he PECS PECS PECS PECS PECS.
When he made gum seem sexy-cool.
When denied it but clearly supplied it.
When he got us into credit card debt and we didn't even care.
When he proved he's just like us! Cue instant panty-dissolve.
When savored the little things. Like laughing insanely at an open window.
When he promised to get even better with age.
Images: Getty Images; Giphy (40)