Before we begin, allow me to be upfront about something: I'm a vegetarian. I don't eat bacon and therefore think it's kind of gross. So perhaps I'm a teensy bit biased about what I'm about to share with you. However. A realistic bacon scarf exists and it's so vile that I think I've permanently lost my appetite just from looking at the picture.
My disgust at this garment is actually a total compliment to the designer, Natalie Luder, who somehow managed to make Crèpe de Chine look like it's covered in fatty bacon grease. But that doesn't mean I want spend $170 and actually own this thing. I tend to prefer my neckwear to be more Burberry than bacon, if you know what I mean.
Luder's artist statement lists food culture as a major influence on her work, so it's no surprise that everyone's favorite cholesterol booster (no judgment!! you should see my chocolate stash...) would make an appearance in her online shop. There are several images of people wearing the bacon scarf and it doesn't look quite as icky when wrapped around the neck, although the, um, meaty texture is still wildly unsettling.
Maybe I'm missing something. It's possible that bacon lovers will disagree with my assessment and think this scarf is the cat's meow. I personally would prefer a scarf covered with cats, and plenty of those exists for far less than $170.
What's next, sunny-side up egg earmuffs? Actually, wait — that's a brilliant idea.
Images: Natalie Luder