I'm a huge advocate for period sex. First and foremost because menstruating women (at least, a lot of us) tend to be are—how do I put this delicately?—insanely horny. And I don't mean "just saw a picture of Tom Hardy with a puppy" horny. I'm talking about "spit on my vagina, spank me on the ass, and call me the filthiest thing you can think of in a foreign language" horny. That's period horny. Unfortunately for everyone, there's a stigma attached to having sex with a menstruating woman. The puritanical, vagina-fearing society we live in has taught us that this natural process a woman's body goes through is somehow disgusting or shameful. But when nature does its nature thing, throwing our hormones into spasms of desire so strong we need to cross our legs and squeeze together while doing yoga breathing for it to pass, it's more disgusting to NOT have sex.
A note to men: period blood is the reason you get to proliferate your DNA and create these magical little things called BABIES. I personally find it incredibly insutling when men are "grossed out" by the thought of having period sex. Why? Women are expected to have sex with men who've been carrying their sweaty balls around, encased in some damp cotton underwear (because swamp ass, duh) all day. We're expected to have sex with you even though you touch your penis throughout the day with your filthy hands (subway pole to dick to vagina—cringe forever), and we KNOW you don't wipe after you pee, just jiggle a little and expect it to be clean. And guess what? We're not complainaing. I don't care. Human bodies are weird and weird stuff comes out of them and whatever, who cares, get over it. The way I see it, when there's willing, enthusiastic, raging hormone-driven sex on the table why in the world would ANYONE complain?
I once knew a guy who would say, "Who am I to tell a woman what she can and cannot do with her body," which he would immediately follow with, "Now take out your tampon and just throw it over there into the corner." That's a little much, even for me, and I would, of course, excuse myself to the bathroom in order to be more hygienic about said tampon removal, rather than pitching it into a pile of his dirty laundry. Obviously not everyone is that "chill" about period sex, and I'm sure it's because people have some weird ideas about what actually happens when you have sex with a woman on her period. Which is not much really, other than sex. Here are the 6 most common misconceptions about period sex — for both people having period sex and people not having it. (And before you read on, be sure to check out Bustle’s new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the dirtiest parts of dating, and find more on our Soundcloud page.)
1. That Blood Gets Everywhere
Period sex can be messy. Sometimes there will be some blood on the woman's thighs, or on your hands, or the man's (condom clad, hopefully) penis. Maybe a spot or two will get on the sheets, or if you put down a towel to save your sheets, on the towel. Sometimes you'll have period sex without seeing any blood at all. But I have never in my life heard of anyone having a True Blood-style, blood orgy. There's just not enough blood in a period for it to get THAT messy, so we really need to let go the notion that period sex is some kind of Kill Bill massacre.
2. That It's Impossible To Get Pregnant
This clearly doesn't apply to the blessed lady-gays, but for us straight women, this is important. The fact that period sex is awesome isn't the only thing you need to know. Even for those of you who are already proudly out there enjoying period sex, there can be some misconceptions about what can and cannot happen as a consequence. If you're having unprotected, penis/vagina sex ever, a baby can occur. It is marginally less likely that a woman will become impregnated while on her period—but it's not impossible. A woman's period, for the uninitiated, it what happens when the uterus sheds its lining, and with it the ovary's monthly egg deposit. Pregnancy can occur because sperm can live inside the woman's body for up to 3-5 days. So if a woman has a slightly irregular cycle, it might so happen that she ovulates shortly after the end of her period, releasing an egg into those sperms that have just been chilling inside her, waiting for something interesting to do. Keep that in mind next time you're riding the crimson wave.
3. That It Will Make Menstrual Cramps Worse
A lot of women avoid period sex because they think it will make their cramps worse. I feel like once I tell you the following information you're all going to be scrambling to get laid to end your menstrual woes: sex during your period can actually help to relive the pain caused by cramps. Crazy, right? The only catch it that it has to be GOOD sex, because the female orgasm stimulates muscular uterine contractions (as do the hormones in sperm, but I'm not about to advocate condom-free sex), which causes the expelling of blood, lessening of pain, and can bring a quicker end to the period cycle. Amen to that.
4. That All Women Are Up For It
People who enjoy period sex think that all women are into it, I'm guessing because the blood is the woman's, and thus, she is not grossed out by it. Not true! Many women are just as weird about period sex as men, and while it's 100% a woman's choice what to do with her body, I would like to put an end to women not exploring period sex because of fear or shame. Simply don't like it? Totally cool. That's your choice. But if that choice has been made not based on personal proclivity but due to some gender-specific conditioning that causes bodily self-loathing, we need to re-educate women in order for any choice to be made freely. What I'm saying is: Ladies, your period is glorious and natural. Please feel free to fuck at will while bleeding, because there's nothing wrong or improper about it.
5. That It's OK To Refuse Period Sex And Then Ask For A Blow Job
There is nothing worse than men who think it's OK to refuse period sex on the grounds that it's "yucky" and then expect to receive sexual compensation in the form of a blow job. First, let me reiterate that which merits constant reiteration: You are never, ever entitled to a blow job. A period isn't something that a woman has done "wrong" that she needs to "make up for" in some way. You are now owed a consolation beej because your partner's vagina had the audacity to perform a function that wasn't explicitly for your pleasure. Sexual gratification is a two-way street, and here comes the news flash: blow jobs are objectively just as "yucky" as period sex. See above for piss dick scenario. If period sex doesn't turn you on, that's totally fine. But you can't expect to tell a woman she's sexually unappealing to you and then ask her to do something she might fight sexually unappealing. (Obviously some women hate period sex and love giving blow jobs, I salute you. I am only reprimanding men who take a juvenile position on period sex, but then still wish to be selfishly rewarded.)
6. That It's Gross
Period sex isn't gross. It's wonderful. The vagina comes pre-lubricated. The blood comes out red and fresh and not brown and gunky like you might have seen it on your tampon. You ARE SO HORNY. SO, SO VERY HORNY. (Again, not assuming that all women are extra down-to-clown while Horny, for many of us, often equals "interested in trying out some kinky shit" (as an extra incentive for hesitant partners). It's a blissful goddamn free for all. The vagina is also very sensitive during the period cycle, so ladies, this could mean easier orgasm—and partners, this could mean more success in giving an orgasm, and we all know you care about your lady getting her rocks off too.
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