The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is more than just elaborate sparkly fanfare and an enemy to self-esteem, it's a showcase of jazzed-up musical performances. This year, it has been announced that Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Ed Sheeran and Hozier are set to perform, which is in line with the usual melange of artists. In recent years we tend to favor a pop powerhouse (Swift), a male tag-a-long (Sheeran), a squeaky, youthful starlet (Grande) and a random unknown (Hozier, really?) in our mix of lingerie and wings. But it wasn't always this way.
Click through to flashback to the early years of VS Fashion Show Performances!
2001: Mary J. Blige
What was great about this performance was that you could see the VS Angels shimmying to the opening beats of “Family Affair.” This was the first time we got to witness that kind of awkward dancing, but god knows it’s since become a tradition.
Blige had a pretty minimalist performance, with no Angels gliding down a runway and fake, bare trees in the background. That fur coat is boss, though.
2002: Destiny's Child
Mark McGrath (you know, the guy from Sugar Ray) co-hosted, which is a treat on it’s own. Throw in tacky outfits, a pre-stardom Beyoncé and a hokey hip-hop reworking of a Christmas carol, and it’s truly an early 2000’s delight.
2002: Marc Anthony
Anthony, probably at peak stardom, was an added bonus.
2003: Mary J. Blige and Sting
Blige returned to belt out her duet with Sting, “Whenever I Say Your Name.” Apparently that’s a thing that happened.
2003: Mary J. Blige and Eve
Eve also showed up to rap in the middle of “Not Today,” which is nice.
2005: Ricky Martin
After a year-long hiatus, the VS Fashion Show returned with a series of rocky performances. Case and point: Martin, already years past his prime, was the most notable name on the line-up. He performed “Drop It On Me,” which is a song you’ll probably have to Google after this slideshow.
2005: Chris Botti
By my assessment, Seal peaked when he debuted “Kiss From a Rose” (which, to be fair, I think is the greatest song of all time), so I was wondering how he got such a high profile gig. Then I remembered: Heidi Klum, duh.
2006: Justin Timberlake
That was the year Timberlake brought sexy back, proving that he had graduated from the world of ramen hair. All of the Angels were blatantly clamoring for his junk, but seriously, who can blame them?
2007: The Spice Girls
2007: Seal and Heidi Klum
They sang a duet together. Honestly, the day these two broke up was the day that love died.
Will.I.Am was also there, and he performed “I Got It From My Mama.” It was… forgettable.
He was basically making sex eyes at all of the models and it was somehow glorious.
2009: The Black Eyed Peas
There were back-up dancers in Tron suits and Fergie wore a flowing emerald green corset-dress. What more could you ask for?
2010: Katy Perry
Perry, that rainbow of ditzy flirtatiousness, played for the PINK segment of the fashion show. It was truly a match made in heaven.
He sang “Angel.” DO YOU GET IT? BECAUSE THEY’RE VICTORIA’S SECRET ANGELS? Fun Fact: when I worked at the store in Shrewsbury, we had to listen to this song no less than 16 times daily.
2011: Maroon 5
He got the gig because he was dating now-wife Behati Prinsloo, and he got Prinsloo because he’s a quote-unquote rock star. Circle of nepotism.
2011: Kanye West and Jay-Z
West sang “Stronger” for the Superhero-themed segment (which was underwhelming, fashion-wise) and Jay-Z joined him later for a song that I don’t think I’m allowed to say, to be honest.
2011: Nicki Minaj
She performed for the PINK segment which, like with Perry, was a match made in heaven
2012: Justin Bieber
Truly a dark day for Victoria’s Secret, and indeed for the world.
2012: Bruno Mars
The hat was distracting, which is saying a lot. You know, since the show is an hour of lingerie-clad Amazons wearing sky-high angel wings.
Rihanna clearly did not sing for the PINK segment. Instead, she dressed for the Victoria’s Secret-Morticia Addams collab that I guess never took off.
2013: Fall Out Boy
I actually Googled “Which Victoria’s Secret model was Pete Wentz dating?” because there is no way, NO WAY, that Fall Out Boy was even vaguely relevant enough to be let on that stage by 2013.
2013: A Great Big World
Likewise, what is even happening here? You can see the disappointment in that lone Angel’s eyes. Her thoughts, verbatim, are “You’re not Justin Timberlake. =(”
2013: Neon Jungle
I have no idea who these children are, but clearly they fit the PINK segment. For what it’s worth, I’m kind of all about assigning that part of the fashion show to bouncy, neon pop tarts. My bet is that Grande will probably do it this year. She’ll probably wear cat ears, and it’ll probably be awful.
2013: Taylor Swift
When all else fails, you can always fallback on Swift.