The other afternoon, I made a point to revisit the music video for Blaque’s 1999 hit “Bring It All To Me”. The song, which features guest vocals from JC Chasez of 'N Sync, came up in conversation earlier that day, and it dawned me that I hadn't watched the video in over a decade. 15 years, to be exact. That would not stand. I had to fix that, pronto.
Given the amount of time that'd passed since I'd last seen the R&B trio's vid, most of the details were foggy. There was one detail, however, I was very confident about: I was certain Chasez was in the music video. Didn’t think twice about it. He's in the song from the second verse onward, of course he's in the video! I reasoned.
I was wrong. My memory betrayed me. Neither the 'N Syncer nor his voice appear in the music video.
"Where's JC?" I asked the Internet.
"Blaque used the non-JC Chasez version of the song in the video," the Internet answered.
"But why?" I asked the Internet. The Internet shrugged. I took the hint and let the Internet be.
The "Where's JC?" question is only the beginning of my question-a-thon. I mean, the video features holograms, some strange metal boxes that possess the ability to shrink humans, and a giant Lazy Susan. Of course I have questions.
What is that cube?
Look at those slots! It looks like a toaster! Oh, man. Is it a toaster from the future? I’m going to assume it’s a toaster from the future. An enormous toaster from the future. (Ya know, to toast all of the enormous slices of bread that future people will bake in the future.)
Will toasters in the future turn people into holograms?
Should I replace everything in my closet with metallic clothing, y/n?
Are these guys checking her out or are they dumbfounded by the hologram person walking around?
Is that floating rectangle part of another futuristic toaster?
Wait, did that second futuristic toaster zap them?
Whoa. That toaster totally shrunk them. Are they trapped in the toaster or did they want to hang out in the toaster?
Why doesn’t this happen in music videos more often?
I surely cannot be alone in my love for this literal word vomit, can I?
Wait, that's a Lazy Susan. Is this a microwave from the future?!?!
Did they shoot this in the queue for Star Tours?
Where can I get those angel wings?
Did Blaque predict the hologram trend of the next century? [Makes note to research holograms later.]
Is hanging out in a futuristic microwave super boring? It looks super boring.
Why is everyone leaving the microwave from the future? I'm surprised. It seemed like they were having so much fun standing in that empty cube.
Oh. I guess the toaster from the future is the futuristic appliance to kick it in, eh?
And that's how the video ends. We never see what's inside the futuristic toaster. And we never see the futuristic toaster toast giant slices of bread. Looks like we may never know how awesome that futuristic toaster truly is.
Images: BlaqueVEVO/YouTube (18)