17 Disastrous Kim Kardashian Outfits From The 2000s — Get Ready For A Satin Overdose

Define the waist, Kim Kardashian! With curves like those, a low-slung belt didn’t do the reality star any favors… nor did the awkward sleeve length and greying, oatmeal shade.

One look at this ensemble and the reasoning behind the “don’t-match-your-shoes-to-your-belt-and-purse” rule becomes abundantly clear. Additionally, the sheer brilliance of Kardashian’s pure white accessories border on blinding.

A cropped, cap-sleeve jacket, skinny jeans, lacy camisole, and knee-high patent boots overloaded this poor ensemble, when a gorgeous cashmere coat and over-the-knee equestrian boots would have managed just fine.

I adore a thick patent leather belt, but the buckle on this number is literally the size of Kim Kardashian’s head. If there is concern over giving oneself a concussion when dressing in the morning, I would advise ditching the dangerous accessory.

The early aughts lent fashionistas an obsession with high-luster satin: satin tops for a date night, satin mini skirts for a school dance, and satin dresses for every occasion. However, there is such thing as a satin overdose, exhibited by Kardashian’s ruched v-neck sheath.

This elastic-waist mini dress would have been regrettable on its own, but was greatly worsened by this ’80s prom dress sash.

Unless you’re attending a yoga retreat in Southern California, pairing cropped brown leggings, a striped tunic, a wide belt, and open-toe sandals is the equivalent of a sartorial felony.

This lime-hued number is a dreadful union of the satin mini dress and the pastel babydoll frock.

A horizontally-striped v-neck tunic works on few silhouettes, and really should be relegated to the beach or a yacht — without the go-go boots, of course.

There’s a reason why monochrome track suits aren’t in vogue anymore, and Kim Kardashian knows exactly why.

I love a good bubble dress as much as the next fashion addict, but when you can see the frock’s tight hem under the bubble, it appears as though one has a petite waist, slim hips, and an odd inch-high pocket of paunch halfway waist and knee.

Body con silhouettes are either a hit or a miss, and when the silhouette is painted on and the shape oddly tubular, the efficacy of its drama is somewhat diminished.

A cross between a dirndl and office attire, this faux button down getup is perplexing in all the wrong ways.

If you opt for a chest-bearing keyhole, the rest of your frock, blouse, or jumpsuit should appear elegant and urbane to offset its sultriness. Instead, Kim chose the tightest, shortest LBD she could find, paired it with seductive cage heels, and called it a day.

This robins egg-blue ruffled mini was tantalizingly close to being a lovely ensemble, but with its extraneous ruffles and fit so tight it appeared to cut off Kardashian’s oxygen supply, it missed the mark.

Nothing about this neon-punctuated ensemble suggests that Kardashian enjoys, or even understands, the fundamentals of fashion.