Someone Needs To Explain This Explosion

In today's "That's probably bad," news, a mysterious explosion over Russia last Friday that lit up the night sky in a big yellow-white inferno of doom has everyone stumped. The explosion, which was caught on a number of dash cams (which are apparently really common in Russia) and cell phone cameras, happened around 5:30 p.m. local time roughly 932 miles away from Moscow. Initial theories thrown around by news outlets linked the explosion to a meteorite, since a similar occurrence happened in February last year when a huge one tore across the sky and injured hundreds of people.

However, as more footage was collected of the explosion, the story changed. Since it appears the fireball is traveling up into the sky, and not down, experts have concluded it is likelier that it began on the ground. I'm gonna go ahead and say if this was purposeful, whoever did better have a pretty good reason for it, considering it was, you know, pretty scary. Thankfully, no one was hurt, but the whole thing still looks really, really suspicious and I don't like it one bit.

News outlets have already come up with a couple of theories about who might be responsible for this terror show.

An Old Chemical Plant May Have Exploded

According to some sources, there is an old chemical plant near the explosion zone in the town of Rezh. Sounds as viable an explanation as any.

The Russian Military Was Testing Artillery

Other sources say the Russian military may have been testing or using artillery in the area, which either went really great or really poorly and caused the massive explosion. Russia is usually up to some weird, secretive stuff, it seems, so this is always a possibility.

Aliens

Maybe alien scouts, who were hanging out in the more remote parts of Russia, had a rough take-off on their way to take data back to the overlords in order to start planning world domination.

Transformers

Yup, it's happening. Transformers are real and they've come to fight the Decepticon. Or (this is more of a longshot) that new Transformers movie from June is probably coming out on DVD soon, and we know how well DVD sales are doing. Perhaps this was a big, poorly executed publicity stunt?

Dinosaurs

A girl can dream, okay?

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