Santa...Dropping a Deuce

by Catie Keck

This week’s World Toilet Day resulted in some top tier journalism and poop-related headlines: there was this piece about how to hack your poops; this poop-powered bus in England; an oral history of the steaming poop emoji; an app for mapping potentially stepped on poop; and now, with the holidays upon us, a video of Santa taking an epic deuce is making the rounds. The video comes from Poo~Pourri, a “before you go” air freshener for women, who according to the website’s tab header "don’t poop" (which is, you know, a load of shit).

“Some say the secret to a happy relationship is separate bathrooms,” says the product’s website quoting a person who also believes in unicorns, “but those people have never tried Poo~Pourri, the classy, sassy, ultra-effective way to leave the bathroom smelling better than you found it.” Did you catch that, ladies? It’s classy, sassy, and ultra effective. “Go ahead…join thousands of happy customers who’ve tried Poo~Pourri for fun and keep using it because it really works!” Or maybe just drop a load without shame? That could be cool too.

Regardless, the video is definitely worth a watch, with two and a half minutes of potty puns delivered by set of foul-mouthed sisters who one at a time shame Santa for blowing corn all over their neatly manicured suburban bathroom (“The whole house smells like a gingerbread manslaughter!”). If you’re watching from your desk you should definitely turn your speakers down, lest someone think your butt’s sneezing.