Have you established your Christmas shopping plan of attack yet? No? That's OK. It really is. Just because retail brands start pushing their holiday sales earlier and earlier each year doesn't mean you need to buy everything before December 1 or else you're screwed. It feels that way though, because Christmas has lost its mind and has been bumping up against Thanksgiving like it's the only thing stopping it from becoming a two-month spending extravaganza. I mean, without Thanksgiving, we'd be putting stocking stuffers and Halloween candy into our shopping carts at the same time. I'm sorry, but I refuse to put "Monster Mash" and "All I Want For Christmas Is You" on the same playlist. That is where I draw the line. Thanksgiving needs to stay right where it is as the transitional holiday border between Halloween and Christmas, for the sake of our sanity.
Black Friday is good (I guess) for kicking off the holiday season with budget-friendly sales events, but even if you choose to skip it — or just shop from home and have everything delivered to your house like a normal person — you'll still be able to find the right gift for dad that he will absolutely love. Especially if you choose any of the following items.
Image: Elf/New Line Cinema
Oyster Book Membership
Most humans enjoy books, right? Well, even if your dad has very specific reading taste (mine prefers stories about pirates), he can pick whatever he wants to read and just return the ebook once he’s done. It’s the Netflix of books for less than $10 per month, and it’s kind of the best thing ever.
Leather Wine Tote
The problem with glass bottles is that they break. And maybe this gorgeous hand-stitched tote won’t make the bottles they hold shatter-proof, but it looks equal parts convenient and bad-ass, so there’s that. Basically, if Ron Swanson needed to bring wine to a party, he’d make this tote himself and carry it with mustachioed pride.
Streaming Media Player (like Amazon's new Fire TV Stick)
Kenyon City Grill
The Kenyon City Grill is awesome for the following reasons: a) it’s easy to transport for grilling on-the-go, b) it’s ideal for urban living because of its smokeless design, and c) it preheats within seven minutes to keep you from going hangry. Bottom line: your dad will love it.
Retro Digital Flip Clock
Ah, an old-school clock without any of the annoying features! FINALLY. This retro ticker has the flipping numbers as the minutes change but without the clicking noise that drives Bill Murray straight to Crazy Town in Groundhog Day. Or maybe Sonny and Cher did that? Either way, it’s pretty great. It also has modern functions like an illuminated screen, alarm settings, and is battery-powered.
Pocket Knife Cufflinks
Dollar Shave Club Membership
Give your dad the gift of one less thing in life to worry about with a monthly Dollar Shave Club box. In his box, he’ll get a new set of blades, a compatible razor handle, and maybe even some of their new shave products. Your dad probably appreciates simple things, and this is simple, and brilliant.
Sweater from L.L. Bean
This particular sweater (the Heritage Irish Fisherman Sweater) is actually made in Ireland. Guys, Ireland is COLD, so you know any sweater made there can protect against some pretty harsh elements. It also looks warm, and is a nice combo of casual and classic.
Jawbone JAMBOX Speaker
This little gem is the gift that keeps on giving because it’ll allow your dad to be a DJ wherever he goes. This will also inevitably lead to him busting out some sweet dance moves, and then you can film that and make him YouTube famous by the time Father’s Day comes around. Everyone wins.
Keurig Brewing System
Your dad can officially say goodbye to the days of making a pot of coffee the night before or first thing in the morning. The Keurig is a magical creation that makes consuming your desired daily amount of caffeine so so easy. Just fill the tank with water, pop in a K-cup, and your mug will be filled with hot and cozy goodness.
A Pair of UGG Slippers
Does your dad ever really relax in style? Maybe he does, and maybe he doesn’t. He probably doesn’t care either way — which is what makes him such an awesome dude. But these UGG slippers are so rad that he could probably wear them anywhere and still be extremely comfortable. Which I’m sure he always prefers.
Lifefactory Glass Water Bottle
Since we, as a society, are trying to avoid products with BPA and all the scary conditions that come along with it, a glass water bottle is ideal for hydration. Lifefactory’s bottle is also about a million times better than the metal bottles that are currently all the rage, because really, who wants to drink a battery? This bottle has no taste. Because a bottle should not have a flavor stronger than the beverage it contains.
Natural Wooden Watch
Almost as if he chopped down a tree and turned it into a clock, this wooden watch is a thing of hand-crafted beauty. It’s hypoallergenic and chemical-free, AND the manufacturer will plant a tree for every watch sold. So, by buying it, you’re kind of saving the planet.
Number 1 Dad T-shirt
Remember when Morty Seinfeld and Mr. Mandelbaum fought over which one of them was truly the world’s best dad? No? Well your dad does. I’m pretty sure all dads (and humans) have seen every single episode of Seinfeld, which makes this t-shirt such an amazing gift. This is the shirt that Jerry gave to Morty and he wore it proudly for days and days without ever taking it off. A little bit “Ew,” but a lot more “Aww.”