What If 'Supernatural' Characters Had Tinder?

If there's one thing I know for sure about Supernatural, it's that the show is an expert at making fun of itself and different phenomenons that are currently taking over the world. Its latest target? The wonderfully weird and twisted world of dating apps. In Tuesday night's newest episode of Supernatural, "Girls, Girls, Girls," Sam finds out that Dean had a Tinder-like dating application. Somehow, witches configure into this dating app idea, as does the idea of selling people. But I'm not going to dwell on that. In fact, I'm going to enjoy letting the episode surprise me with those other storylines without the pressure and stress of guessing what might happen. Instead I want to focus on Dean's dating profile. What would all of the characters of Supernatural 's Tinder profiles look like? Fascinating, that's what.

To start, I'm not sure if Dean made his Tinder-like profile while in Deanmon mode or human, but either way, the idea is totally hilarious. What could his profile actually say? I know the episode will probably feature at least a taste of it, but I made my own bios for him and everyone else anyway. Which direction would you swipe for them?

Dean Winchester

Ladies, if you want a man who kicks ass, there's no one better than me.

Sam Winchester

I'm sensitive, but can still protect you against the evils of the world. I was almost a lawyer, so I'm smart and I'm committed. But don't think I'm soft, ladies, I once said yes to being taken over by the Devil himself, but later stopped the apocalypse. That's got to count for something, right?

Castiel

I don't fully understand what's going on here. Apparently I'm meant to write about myself? Well, I am an angel of The Lord. So pick me and I can appear at your doorstep as soon as you swipe right.

Crowley

I'm the King of Hell and I make deals to get souls by kissing people. But don't worry, I'll kiss you for free.

Sheriff Mills

I'm woman enough to cut out all the nonsense. I'm looking for something easy and fun, and someone who won't be a big baby about the fact that I'm the protector and provider of the household. Also, preferably someone who won't be upset if I kick them out the next morning — I have to get to work.

Hannah

What is this contraption? What function does it serve? Oh... You humans should be ashamed.

Chuck Shurley

I'm a cruel, capricious God. Swipe right and I won't smite you. Unless you like that sort of thing? *Wink*

Becky

Sam? Sam Winchester? My love? Are you on this app?

Images: Katie Yu/The CW, The CW (8)