'Mad Men' Is Splitting Up

In today's news of "NOOOOOOOO," we learn that the final season of Mad Men will be split in two. The two parts will air with seven episodes each, the first seven in 2014 and the final seven in 2015. Ugh. It was almost unbearable when AMC announced that the final 16 episodes of Breaking Bad would be split into two season and the suspense seemed like it would literally kill people. In fact, a Breaking Bad fan recently sued Apple for their misleading packaging of the final season of Breaking Bad on his iTunes season pass. These are true fans — willing to litigate for their shows.

But why you have to split Mad Men, too, AMC? Granted, the character-driven show from Matthew Weiner isn't leaving us with cliffhangers that have us reaching for our Xanax the way Breaking Bad does, but we already did this dance with Mad Men! Between Seasons 4 and 5, when the show was being reconsidered by AMC because of its insane budget, there was more than an entire year between the finale of Season 4 and the premiere of Season 5. It was excruciating and unfair, especially because the Season 4 finale "Tomorrowland" was when Don proposes to Megan in California and we were all like WHAT THE WHAT, she's your secretary.

As much as I hate to admit it, though, this split season does, sorta, kinda, make sense. AMC is about to lose Breaking Bad, the show that everyone is watching because it's part of the zeitgeist now and it's required talking points in just about every conversation. But does that mean AMC has to punish us with a Mad Men split while they scramble to come up with another genius show before the final episode of Mad Men airs? And only seven meager episodes a year? It's cruel.

It's something Don Draper himself would do with no remorse. The first seven episodes will be called "The Beginning" and the second seven episodes will be called "The End of an Era." Quite literally. Titles that are just vague and symbolic enough for Mad Men, which are made all the more infuriating because we have to wait until 2015 to see how the show ends.

This whole thing makes me want to punch someone — where's Pete Campbell?